How to conquer these 4 lies Right Now

I’ve been bugging Cory for 3 years now to buy a trampoline for the kids.

I knew they’d love it. I could picture endless hours of fun for them and summers spent creating games and sharing giggles.

Cory knew that it would be expensive and take up a ton of yard space.😑(Which he was right about, but don’t tell him please!😉)

Friend, it took a global pandemic for him to finally say, “You know what we need? A trampoline.”

It’s crazy how the world we’re in now is completely changing our way of thinking! And I don’t know about you, but not all my “changed ways of thinking” have gone toward the positive (like finally investing in a trampoline). Some days I’m aboard the hot mess express and it’s tough to get off.

So today we’re digging into some lies that are holding us back right now. I’m willing to bet that at one point or another in the past few weeks, you’ve fallen into at least one of these traps. And I’m just here with a gentle reminder that not everything you tell yourself is the truth.

So let’s dive in!

1. The lie that “she” has this situation all figured out.

We’re lookin’ at you, Pam, with your schedules, your organized lunch, your peppy attitude, and your perfectly washed SUV.

Totally kidding of course.

But you know what I’m getting at, right? There’s always that one person that we look to and wonder, how the heck does she have this all figured out? Right now she may appear to be soaring through quarantine while you’re struggling. She doesn’t seem frustrated or irritated. She’s still SO organized. And how come she never yells at her kids? That’s not even natural. 😜

If you have a “Pam” in your life, please remember that what you’re seeing is most likely not the whole picture. And I promise you, she’s not at home reading her manual for surviving a pandemic every night, because THERE IS NO SUCH THING.

No one has a manual here and I guarantee not a single person has all the pieces of this mess figured out, even if they appear to. I guarantee that if you dug deep enough, or knew the deepest and darkest thoughts of that person who “has it all together,” you’d see a different story.

No one – Not a single one of us – knows what the heck we’re doing. So please don’t look around and play the comparison game. Just stay in your lane, do you, and trust that you’ll get through this, too.

2. The Lie that you need to have it all together.

This lie is one you need to scrub from your mind all of the time, but especially now, dear one.

I’m officially giving you permission to not have it all together right now. (And if you need a refresher, see the point above where no one has this all figured out.)

For example, did you know that I completely forgot to buy any Mother’s Day cards this year? Just straight-up forgot. I didn’t buy a single one. Not one for my mom or Mother in law, not one from the kids to their grandmas, not one from me to my grandmas. Nothing. I haven’t left town in months and I honestly just forgot.

This is a small example, but it’s reminder that no one knows what they’re doing right now. No one has all the pieces of the puzzle together. Some days you’ll feel on top of things and accomplished, and some days you’ll wonder how you even picked matching socks out your drawer.

This is simply life. Don’t spend another minute more expecting to have this all figured out. Give yourself grace and move on. I promise God doesn’t care if you’re wearing matching socks. 😉

3. The lie that you can do everything on your own.

#TruthTime: I’m an independent soul. I like to do things on my own. And I have a tendency to think that I know best. On everything. (Which is dumb, so please don’t follow in my footsteps.)

The truth is, if Cory and I hadn’t called in reinforcements at this point, we wouldn’t be surviving. Our daycare is closed and our school is closed (like you, I imagine), and we’re both still going to work full time.

Without other people, we wouldn’t be able to juggle all this. There’s no. freaking. way. We have my mom and Cory’s mom both watching the kids one day a week plus two high schoolers to fill in the other week days. How in the heck could we be doing this without help from others?

In asking around, I understand that everyone’s situation and family dynamics are a little bit different, but let me just leave a gentle reminder to you that trying to do this all on your own right now is probably not the best solution. We need each other now more than ever! Even if we can cover all the bases with kids and work and groceries and To Do’s, we still need connection.

We need others. Full stop. Please don’t try to be a hero by going alone or trying to carry the weight of it all on your own shoulders. No one said you had to do this alone. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or to reach out to others. We’re all in this together.

4. The lie that you must always be joyful and feel #Blessed right now.

As you know, I’m a pretty positive person. One of those reasons is because I listen to podcasts that help me to look for the positives and stay in the right mindset.

So many people right now are encouraging others to look for the positives and find things to be grateful for. And I’m here for it, don’t get me wrong. I fully believe in the power of positivity.

But also…

Nothing has been more of a roller coaster ride of emotions for me than life in these past 2-3 months. Yes, I look for the positives. And yes, I have a gratitude list that I spend time on daily. But some days, it’s just not enough. Some days, random waves of sadness or frustration come out of no where and it’s enough to knock me off my feet.

It’s gotten a little better as time has gone on and we’re muddling through our new “normal,” but those sad and frustrated feelings still find their way in sometimes. And you know what I tell myself when they do?

It’s ok.

It’s ok to feel all the feelings. It’s ok to have sad days (which I wrote more about in this post). You don’t have to feel happy and joyful and grateful all of the time. I’m giving you permission to just feel sad or down or frustrated if you need to.

So don’t let the world or social media or whoever tell you that you have to stay positive all the time. Or that, “If you do XYZ, you’ll be happy!” Yes, focusing on positivity helps and writing down things you’re thankful for help! But dude. It’s ok to not be feeling happy or always see the silver lining 100% of the time.

Wrapping Up.

Again, let’s remember that these are weird and unprecedented times. No one could see this coming or had a plan on how to handle it. Let’s just take it one day at a time and try not to fall into these traps above.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have 3 kiddos begging me to jump on our new trampoline. 😊

**OVER TO YOU: Which one of these lies resonated with you the most? Are there any you’d add to the list? Feel free to comment below!**