The Case for not Setting Goals (& What to do Instead)

I’d like to start this post out with an apology.

I know this never happens to anyone else (<– SARCASM), but it’s possible that something I once believed, I may not completely, whole-heartedly, 100% agree with anymore.  

I’m going to say something now that 20-something (or even early 30-something Kris) would have definitely scoffed at. Deep breathe. Here it is…

Maybe we shouldn’t set goals.

I know.

I’m so sorry if I’ve ever steered you wrong on this topic!

I used to be a MAJOR goal-setter. I’ve set the dates. I’ve focused on making sure I had SMART goals. I’ve done it all. But when the end of July rolled around this year and I sat down to set up my yearly planner, I just couldn’t get into it. (Read on for more info as to why.)

So, I’m taking a different view on goals in this season of life. What if we didn’t set goals altogether? What if we gave ourselves grace? What if we just skipped them this year? I know. Crazy idea, right? What’s a world without goals?

If you’re feeling a little burned out on goals, too, may I offer another way? A different thought process? A case for not setting goals + what to do instead? Let’s dive in.

A note on goal-setting.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a “goals girl.” I’ve always carried the planners with me, trying my best to figure out my future. To map out my next goal and then the next and then the next. A large amount of my twenties and even right at the beginning of my 30s were focused on achievement. What was I aiming for next? What big goal did I want to accomplish? What was I working toward and what was I producing?

I look back on my younger self with a lot of grace. I set so many goals because that’s what I knew how to do and the system was working for me.

Ultimately, when we set goals, it’s because we want to live a little fuller and a little richer, right? We want a life worth living, not a mundane life where we just float by. And listen, I am HERE👏🏻FOR 👏🏻THAT 👏🏻. Figuring out how to live a fuller, more purposeful life gives me energy! The purpose behind wanting to set goals makes sense to me.

But I couldn’t help but wonder…

Is there another way to do it?

I’ve grown and learned a lot in the past couple of years. (Haven’t we all? Woof.) Life before COVID (BC, if you will) and life after (AC) feel like two completely different eras. Muddling through a global pandemic made me realize how LOUD my goals were. I could feel myself approaching burnout at warp speed, trying to keep the candle lit at both ends in every effort to not fail or fall short of my goals.

For me, goal setting started to signify a need for perfection + more. It became a little voice in the back of my head shouting, “You should be able to have it all!”

But the “have it all” messaging is just wearing me out.

Does wanting more for ourselves have to equal DOING more? Buying more? Striving for perfection without rest? Does it imply that we’ll only be happy when we reach a goal?🤔

I don’t think so. I actually think living a fuller life looks like slowing down. Cutting out the excess. Putting up boundaries to keep the noise out. Focusing on (to quote my fave, Bob Goff), Knowing what we want and why we want it, and focusing a little less on the exact time frame and roadmap that we hope will get us there.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned for sure, it’s that living a full life should NOT look like burnout from hustling.  

So how do we avoid this pitfall without melting into a pile of mediocrity?

What to do instead.

In Bob Goff’s book Dream Big, he encourages readers to make a list of ambitions rather than goals and then point themselves toward those ambitions.

And, in doing research for this post, I found an awesome article written by James Clear (author of Atomic Habits) where he says we should focus on systems rather than goals. “Furthermore,” he says, “goals create an ‘either-or’ conflict: either you achieve your goal and are successful or you fail and you are a disappointment.” (No pressure, folks.😳)

But what does all of this mean? How do we change our trajectory and mindset away from goals and onto something different?

For me, it means that instead of setting specific, time-framed goals, I’m simply aiming in the general direction of where I want my life to go.

I know this sounds generic and not at all sparkly or packaged up like goal-setting, but hang with me here. I think there’s something to this philosophy. I think we simply need to ask ourselves:

What do we want our lives to look like and what small action can we take to get ourselves pointed in that direction?

I’m confident I don’t have all the answers, but here’s a practical example of how it went down for me this year:

When the end of July rolled around and I was getting ready to set up my planner for the year ahead, I truly felt exhausted. I felt like I had no oomph, no ambition to be goal-oriented, and no desire to make yet another list of things to strive for. It just didn’t feel right. My mind and my soul just couldn’t do it.

So instead, I pulled out a list of ambitions I created a while back (with items like “be fully present wherever I am” and “live joyfully” to name a couple) and started to ask myself some questions:

• What do I want my life to look like?
• What do I want more of?
• What do I want less of?
• And what baby step can I take that points me in THAT direction?

And the answers to these questions are what I’ve been holding close to my heart as I move forward this month.

I knew I wanted more focused time with my kiddos, less social media, and a higher focus on writing. I knew I needed more quiet and less stress/striving. Once I knew what I wanted, I decided to just start pointing myself in that direction. I’ve set some stricter boundaries for myself when it comes to Instagram and screen time. I’ve worked at saying yes to more rest even though it sometimes looks like saying no to fun stuff.

I know I won’t get all of this right. But I also know that it’s ok if I don’t because I’m still pointing myself in the right direction even if I have off days or missteps here and there.  

The benefits I’ve seen from not setting goals so far.

Since making the change from focusing on specific goals to focusing simply on what I want my life to look like and pointing myself in that direction, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Each day I’m asking myself what tiny baby steps I can take to move forward and every baby step feels like a win. And, in a weird way, taking the pressure off has made me way more productive. Once I ironed out what’s actually important to me and what direction I’m moving, it made all the difference.

For example, instead of telling myself that I MUST have a new blog post every week, I aim to just write something every day. Maybe it’s a blog post I’m working on. Maybe it’s a social media caption. Maybe I need to take a moment to journal. Either way, it’s tough to fail if I’m just writing something, anything, every day. It brings me joy just knowing I’ve accomplished something. (Interestingly, it’s been a lot easier to get a blog post out by simply focusing on the writing. Shocking, I know! 😉)

Wrapping Up.

January feels like arm pumps and a lot of “let’s go!” August feels like grace. Like a breath of fresh air. Like a chance to refresh and reprioritize.

I don’t know that I’ll always opt for not setting goals. Maybe I’ll have a season where goals are more beneficial again. But for now, I’m giving myself the grace to try something new and it’s exactly what I need in this season.

So it’s ok to veer and change direction. It’s ok to lay down some of the things you thought would work back in January. It’s ok to just kick all those SMART goals to the curb. I say this out of love because I have always, ALWAYS been the “goals girl” and here I am changing my mind.

I encourage you to think about what you need in this season, too. If you need goals, go for it! But if you’re looking for a less stressful + more graceful solution, feel free to give this method a try. Start by asking yourself the 4 questions I listed above: What do you want your life to look like? What do you want more of? What do you want less of? And what baby steps can get you moving in that direction?

Have any questions on the idea of not setting goals? I’d love to hear them! Comment below.