Be who you were Created to Be. Part 1: Be a Kid Again

A couple weeks ago, I was lucky enough to meet with a House of Colour Consultant to complete a color analysis.

At a color analysis appointment, a consultant matches skin tone with the makeup and wardrobe colors that look best on their client. (If you’ve never heard of this before, head to the House of Colour website to find out more! I’d attempt to explain it in detail, but I’d probably mess it up and leave you more confused.)

THE POINT IS: I learned from the consult that I’ve spent my entire life wearing the wrong things.🤦‍♀️ My. Entire. Life.

I thought for SURE I had it nailed. I thought I looked best in bright colors and all the pink things (pink blush, pink lipstick, pick tops/purses/ALL THE THINGS).

You know what I found out? I actually look best in warm, earthy tones, and my makeup should be more in the reddish-bronze category. AND I actually look best in brown mascara. (I always wondered who bought brown mascara and now I know that it should have been me.) For fun, here’s photographic evidence of the before and after:

WHAT THE HECK?! I was stunned.

I couldn’t get over how great my skin looked when I dressed for who I actually was instead of who I thought I was.

What a metaphor for real life, huh?

How many times do we morph into the people we THINK we should be instead of just owning who we actually are? How much of our lives have we spent living as half of ourselves because we’re too afraid to let our light fully shine?

This was how I felt in my late 20’s. Like half of myself. I had spent the earlier years conquering what I deemed to be major milestones, but I was so busy going and achieving that I didn’t take time to dive into the person God actually created me to be. As a result, most of my 30’s have been devoted to getting back to the core of who I am; remembering who I was created to be.  

So, while I’m working through this, I thought I’d share what work I’ve done and what’s been helping me figure this whole “who am I created to be” scenario out. As always, I’m happy to share what I’m up to if it might help you learn from my mistakes. What’s taken me months will hopefully only take you a few days if we do this right! ☺️

I’m also going to break this down into a 4-part/step series to keep it from being too overwhelming. Sound ok?

Great! Let’s dive in.

Part 1: The Kid.

As in, go back in time and analyze your kid-like nature.

Sometimes the hardest part of trying to get back to the core of ourselves, is that we can’t even figure out what lights our souls on fire. I’ve found the answer is sometimes as simple as remembering what brought you joy as a kid.

Think about who you were as a child.

When I think back to my life as a kid, I remember the simple things. I remember being outside A LOT. My siblings and I would roam our grove of trees for hours letting our imaginations run wild. (Mud pies, anyone?)

I remember teaching myself how to do cartwheels with the neighbor girls one warm, spring afternoon next to the lilac bushes on the North side of our house.

I remember summers running around barefoot in the yard with the sprinkler on as high as we could get it. And the kiddie pool next to us that served as a way for us to cool down if the sprinkler just wasn’t cutting it.

I specifically remember eating fresh strawberries straight from the garden. Like, a lot. I was supposed to be picking them to bring them indoors, but I’m certain I ate more than I ever carried into the house.

I remember being indoors on rainy or cold winter days and just playing. I would draw or write or create as I could. My favorite subject in school was art and around the age of 10 I attempted to write my first book. (It was horrible. Be thankful I’ve come a long way since then. 😉)

I just remember feeling so free. Did you ever feel that way? Like there wasn’t a care in the world? My biggest priority was figuring out how to convince my parents we should have ice cream for dinner.

So ask yourself: What do you remember from your childhood? What did you enjoy doing and how did you feel? I’ve found that a lot of what sets our souls on fire is something we loved doing as a kid, but gave up somewhere along the way.

Think about where you are today.

To be completely honest, I miss that girl I was as a child. I miss feeling so free. Somewhere between bills and jobs and raising littles and making all the people around me happy back in college, I just lost touch with how fun life is supposed to be. How much joy God created us to experience. How carefree we can be if we let go of trying to DO all the time and just practice BEING.

As I’ve mentioned, now that I’m in my 30’s, I feel like I’m starting to come back to who I was actually created to be, but it’s been a slow and somewhat painful process. About the time I started this blog was when I realized that I didn’t like the busy lifestyle I had created for myself. And I certainly didn’t like the way I had molded myself to be the person I thought others wanted me to be.

I spent most of my 20’s doing what I felt I was “expected” to do. Graduate college. Land the office job. Get married. Buy a house. Start a family.

I’ve done all of those things and I don’t regret a single one of them! But my 30’s have had me digging for more. I spent so many years reaching for the success of others, and now I’m wondering what success for me actually looks like. What does God have in store for me? What did he plant as little seeds decades ago that I’ve managed to ignore all these years?

So, be honest with yourself: Where are you at today? Are you close to the girl you were as a child? Or are you far from it, reaching for the things that don’t actually make you happy?

Ask the Hard questions.

As life has gotten more challenging, it’s made me feel a little out of touch with who I was as a kid. But, this has also proven to be helpful because it’s also made me really analyze what I wanted as a child.

I know it can be hard to sift through the mud and the junk that’s built up over the years of having to live up to other’s expectations (and the expectations we place on ourselves!), but it’s so worth it. It’s worth it to think about who you were as a kid. It’s worth it to remember what brought you joy all those years ago.

So, here’s some questions you can ask yourself to get back in touch with your childlike spirit:

1. What brought you joy?
2. What were good at?
3. What did I like doing before fear and other people’s opinions got in the way?
4. What made you feel free?
5. What sparked creativity for you?

I bet if you dug deep enough, you’d realize that that little girl is still there somewhere. She’s just waiting for you to come out of your shell and be her again. To eat the strawberries fresh from the garden. To land a roundoff in the spring grass. To run through the sprinkler.

Wrapping Up.

Seems like a lot to think about, doesn’t it? Don’t let this overwhelm you! The best thing you can do is get out a notebook or open a word doc on your computer and journal, journal, journal! The more you write, the more thoughts will keep coming to you. Every time I’m feeling lost or confused or have a lot on my mind, journaling has helped me gain clarity.

So from here, just write out some answers from the questions above. Really go back in time and think about what was fun for you and what you were naturally good at. Because I would bet those things still apply, they’ve maybe just been packed away for a while because the responsibilities of life took over.

Next week we’ll dive into what to do with the information you’ve uncovered today. Stay tuned!