5 Ways You Can Use Elimination to Help You Slow Down + Simplify

If I had to describe my current season of life, it would be an “elimination” season.

No, not like Survivor or The Golden Bachelor. (Will we remember that this show existed 5 years from now? One can only hope not.)

I’m talking about “elimination” in terms of ruthlessly removing the things that just aren’t making the cut anymore. Maybe it’s due to my existential crisis last year? Or maybe I’m just aware now more than ever that I only get this one life, and I want to make sure I enjoy it, relish in it, suck all the joy out of it, and live it to the fullest.

Either way, I’m discovering that the more I slow down and simplify, the more freedom I feel. Freedom to be me, freedom to only worry about the things that are assigned to me, freedom to NOT do all the things, freedom to leave my to-do list undone, and freedom to practice being where my feet are.

And, if I could wish anything for other women in this world (including you, dear reader), it would be that same freedom. The freedom to be fully you, to enjoy what lights you up, to leave the dishes for another day, to focus on what’s in your current season without worrying about the next one.

So, yes, I could give you tips to reduce screen time or declutter, but I want to get to the root of the freedom that comes from slowing down and simplifying. I want to give you permission this month to get laser-focused, cut out a few things, and find rest. Because your family, community, and soul will all flourish when you do!

So, here are a few ways to use elimination to help you slow down + simplify this month.

1. Get Super Clear About What Matters to You And What Doesn’t in This Season

Seasons come and go. Not just the seasons on the calendar, but seasons of life, too.

Currently, we’re in a “kids winter sports” season. This weekend, for example, we have a basketball tournament on Saturday, followed by a wrestling meet on Sunday. Oh, and next weekend, we’ll be in Lincoln for a gym meet.🙃

This is the season we’re in. Like or hate it, this is where I’m at. And, because this is my season, it means that our schedule and our routines look a little different than when we’re not in a strong sports season.

So, my job is to determine what’s important to me in this season, and more importantly, what can be let go of in this season.

The important things that matter right now include:

• Getting the kids to their activities.
• Feeding these children. (Will I ever have enough snacks???)
• Helping them with their homework.
• Making sure they get as much rest as possible so they’re ready for the next day.

The unimportant things that I can let go of in this season include:

• Cooking homemade meals. We will likely eat out more or piece something together at home due to our wonky schedule.
• Eating dinner together. Normally, this is a big one for us, but right now we’re doing dinner in shifts a couple weeknights. (I’m still working on being ok with this.)
• Housekeeping. We can only get done what we can get done. Our bathrooms will be clean again someday, but that day is not today.
• Bedtime routine. Everyone (including the hubs and I) is getting to bed a little later these days. And I’m guessing that will only continue as the kids get older and more involved.

Anyway, you get the idea. Now, I’m going to turn it over to you. Get out a pen and paper and start making two lists: 1. What’s important to you and what matters in this season? And 2. What can you let go of in this season? Freedom lies in focusing on what matters and being able to let the rest go.

2. Pick One Thing You Can Eliminate To Slow Down

If you want to slow down + simplify this month, the best place to start is by eliminating what’s not serving you in your current season.

If you did the exercise above, you’re already on the right track. You can start by eliminating the things that aren’t important to you in this current season.

For example, and I touched on this above, but right now, I’m eliminating the pressure to have all my meals figured out and put together. (Concession stand nachos and hot dogs for lunch, anyone?)

On a broader scale, I’m placing a large focus on my business this year. That means I’m ruthlessly eliminating things that don’t pertain to my goals. I’m forgoing self-help books for only business-related ones, cutting back on podcasts, removing limiting beliefs when they pop up (always a work in progress), and I likely won’t be volunteering for anything new anytime soon.

Will life always be this way? I don’t think so. But in order to get where I’m going, and in order to find the freedom to focus on what it is I truly want to do, then I have to be ok with eliminating the stuff that just doesn’t fit right now.

When it comes to eliminating, this can be in all shapes and forms. Think about what can be eliminated from:

• Your calendar or schedule. Do you need to quit something, say no to the next obligation, or revamp a routine that worked in a previous season but is no longer serving you?
• Mental clutter. Do you need to cut back on social media, the news, or other outside noise that’s too much right now? Are there any limiting beliefs that are holding you back?
• To-do lists and tasks. This is my favorite place to begin eliminating because it’s the easiest. We’ll dive more into this below when we discuss creating white space!

Ultimately, I want to highly encourage you to eliminate something today. What’s holding you back, what’s causing friction, or what simply needs the boot during this season of life you’re in? Pick something and let it go!

3. Identify What’s Causing You Stress or Anxiety

I’m just now realizing that everything I’m writing basically builds on itself. Ha!

So, at this point, you should be super clear about what matters to you and what doesn’t in this current season of life. You should also have a few ideas of what you can eliminate to give yourself space.

Now, to dive deeper into the “what needs to be eliminated” stage, the best way to get a clear answer is by first identifying whatever it is that’s causing you stress or anxiety right now.

Where is there friction and where are you feeling anxious and stressed?

As a small example, I’m hyper-aware that when I am rushed, I become this stress-induced and anxious goblin who is, quite frankly, unpleasant to be around. I raise my voice at my kids, I poke and prod them along with little to no patience, and berate myself for mismanaging my time. AGAIN.

Now, because I’m a mom, I’m aware that moments of rushing are inevitable, right? Managing littles with their own view of what they need to do (or not do, as is usually the case) can lead to friction. It’s a tale as old as time.

However, I can also acknowledge that I have a role to play here, too. If I want to be less stressed and anxious because I’m rushing, what proactive steps can I take to remedy that? Well, for starters, I can get up a few minutes earlier. This will help me wake the kids up a few minutes earlier, too, thereby giving them a bit more freedom to move at their own pace. I can also skip cleaning up breakfast and focus more on gently helping them out the door.

To slow down and simplify this month, identify what’s causing you stress or anxiety, and then see what you can do to proactively reduce it. Maybe you need to let dinners or house cleaning go for right now. (Join the club!) Or maybe you’ve set unrealistic expectations on yourself that just aren’t doing anyone any good. (Been there, too!) Get honest with yourself and see what you can change or tweak to reduce stress right now.

4. Schedule Rest

I am a huge proponent of rest. And I’m guessing that you are too, it just feels unrealistic to actually find it in your busy schedule.

Same, friend. Same. Remember my current “kids winter sports” season? Woof.

So, I’ll tell you the same thing I have to remind myself: The best way to find rest is to be proactive and plan ahead of time.

I know. This isn’t always easy. With both basketball and wrestling this weekend, I haven’t figured out where rest will fit in yet, either.

But I’m also aware that rest will never fit in if we don’t take the time to make it.

On most weekends, I’ve realized I need a couple of hours on either Saturday or Sunday to just do nothing. I hang in my pjs, drink (boatloads) of coffee, watch TV with the kids, read a book, etc. I don’t think I’ll have that luxury this weekend, so I’m trying to think creatively. Maybe I can take a couple hours on one of the afternoons to rest.🤷‍♀️

All I know is that before this weekend hits, I have to schedule some downtime. I have to have some time when I’m not working toward anything on my to-do list, cleaning up after a child, or working (which is really, really hard to put out of my mind as an entrepreneur).

The best part is that any time I give myself space to simply rest, I feel more productive afterward!

So where can you schedule and create space for rest this month? What can you let go of or eliminate to give yourself the rest you need?

5. Create Some White Space in Your Schedule

To piggyback off of the last bullet point, (as I’ve apparently been doing in this whole post?) I’m going to encourage you to find some white space in your schedule. A.k.a. Avoid burnout by building margin into your life.

I know it’s easy to brush by this point and move on with your day, but please hear me out first.

The truth is, there just isn’t enough time or space to keep doing all the things. There just isn’t! You probably already know this but haven’t fully accepted it yet.

Today, I’m going to challenge you to question your to-do list or lengthy mental list of all the things you “have to” get done. Do you really have to do everything right now, today? Can the dishes, vacuuming, or laundry wait? Can the errand be done tomorrow? Also, who’s telling you you need to get all these things done? Is it you? Society?

Through therapy, I discovered that I was my own worst gatekeeper. I was the one who created the lengthy to-do list and told myself I needed to get everything done right now. No one else was telling me I needed to do all the things. I was simply putting too much internal pressure on myself and holding myself to unrealistic (and nearly impossible) standards. No wonder I’ve felt so worn thin in previous seasons!

So let me ask you, do you really need to take on every obligation or do all the things you’ve told yourself you need to do? If you’re looking for more rest, more freedom, and a slower lifestyle, creating white space is key.

But, no one is going to do it for you. You have to be brave enough to do this yourself. Don’t be a stick-in-the-mud gatekeeper to yourself like I’ve been. Question what truly needs to be done. Eliminate the stuff that doesn’t and I promise you’ll find the white space you’ve been looking for.

Wrapping Up

The older I get, and the more my life seems to change and pivot, the more I’m learning that elimination might be the key to living a happier, more fulfilled life. Marie Forleo said a quote once that keeps coming back to me:

“Simplify to amplify.”

In other words, cut back, eliminate, reduce, and simplify, in order to leave room for the things you really want to increase. If you want to live a fuller, more peaceful life, start by looking at what you can eliminate.

And maybe we can enjoy our “elimination” season together! Just like The Golden Bachelor.🤣