The One Thing You Can do to Avoid Burnout

8:00 P.M.

This is my “clock out” time during the week.

Please don’t ask me any more questions. Please don’t make me do any critical thinking. To my children: Please, for the love of all things good and holy, DO NOT get back out of bed and ask me for a drink.  

At 8:00, the kids go down for the night and my mind pretty much turns off, too. Because I just can’t. I can’t produce anything else worthwhile. I’m depleted and one tired mama and I’m learning to just accept that.

I used to think I could do more. I used to try to write after the kids when to bed. (I can’t believe I even attempted that now in retrospect.) I used to take that 8:00 hour to try to get more done, get ahead, or start a new task. But I’ve learned. I’ve learned that I’ll burnout if I can’t find a way to embrace the down times, too.  

I’m no stranger to being on the fringes of burnout. I’ve walked a mile or two in those shoes. I’ve taken up residence in Burnout Central and if I’m being completely honest, I still camp there from time to time if I’m not careful or intentional about how I spend my time.

But I’ve learned a thing or two over time and I’ll let you in on a little secret. Only ONE THING has really helped me avoid burnout, and that’s creating more margin.

So… What the Heck is Margin?

Margin, simply put, is space. Space to breathe and to relax, space to regroup and to rest. Motivational Speaker Trent Shelton calls it “Protecting Your Peace.”

Whatever you want to call it, creating margin and then actively looking for it and practicing it is a game changer if you’re looking to move out of Burnout Central.

I feel like the world right now has a lot to say about hustling, doing more, and going faster. And while I fully believe in seasons of hustle, I also know we can’t go 120% all the time. We just can’t. God didn’t create us that way. He created us to need moments of rest and calm. (Even He, Himself rested on the 7th day.😊)

So, we’ve established that creating margin is important. Here’s what’s next…

how do we build margin into our everyday lives?

You might have read the first part of this and thought, Great, Kris. I want to avoid burnout and I KNOW I need moments of space in my life! But how the heck do I get it? No worries! I got you. Here are a few things that have been helping me lately. Hopefully a couple of these will help you, too!

1. Get up before the kiddos.

This one is huge for me! And I’d like to point out that I’m not listing a time frame here. It can 10 minutes before the kids or it can be 2 hours. Do you, friend. But I will say that a cup of coffee in the morning in SILENCE is single-handedly the most important thing that helps me regroup before another busy day begins.

It’s like the calm before the storm.

It allows me to pull my thoughts together and to get my head into a PROactive space rather than a REactive space. I can quietly look at the day ahead and see what’s in store, rather than waking up to immediately jump into the needs of small children. I mean I love ’em, but have you ever met a 3 year old that didn’t need something within the first 2 minutes of waking up?

Just try it. Get up before your kiddos do.

2. Only pick 3 main things a day to put on your to do list.

I do this every morning in my planner and literally call it, “The Big 3.” (Yes, it’s as cheesy as it sounds.)

Basically I ask myself what the 3 most important things are that I need to complete for the day. Sometimes it’s laundry and errands, and sometimes it’s finishing a blog post or sending an email.

It may be worth noting that I still include a smaller list of To Do’s that are more like “bonus” items. If I get to them, great. If I don’t, it’s ok because I still completed the big 3.

The truth is, I’m a reformed “to do” list junkie. If I let myself make a huge long list, my brain gets weird and thinks it needs to do ALL THE THINGS on the list. It’s absolutely unnecessary, but my mind can’t seem to help itself.

I used to get so discouraged when I couldn’t finish a “to do” list. Picking just 3 things to work on helps me avoid burnout and feel MUCH less stressed. And it keeps my mind from going all wonky.

3. Set a time to Put Down your phone in the evenings.

I have to be proactive about putting my phone down in the evenings. Otherwise, it has this special, magical power of sucking me in and I find myself just scrolling and scrolling for no apparent reason. And I used to think that social media didn’t have an effect on me, but after some trial and error, I’ve found that it really does.

Hear me when I say: If we want to create margin into our lives – room to breathe and rest – scrolling Instagram won’t help. I WANT it to. I want it be a place of rest. But it just isn’t.

What’s helped me is to set an alarm on my phone in the evenings to remind me to put my phone down. I give myself 15-20 minutes after the kiddos go to bed and then that’s it. The phone goes down until tomorrow. I’m still not perfect at this, but I’m better than I used to be.😊

4. Be selective about what you add to your calendar. As in, don’t overcommit.

Gosh I’m still not great at this one. Just typing the words “don’t overcommit” has me cringing. It’s something I have to work really hard on (I’ve even written a whole post about being a “yes” person.) I’ll just be honest: It’s not always easy to say no, but it’s a MUST if we want to avoid burnout.

The good news is that I’ve found a respectful and honest NO tends to go over really well. If you thank the person for thinking of you and show them respect with your no, I think you’ll find it’s not so bad after all.

5. Build in small moments where you can.

There will always be seasons of busyness and seasons of feeling like your hair is on fire. When I find myself in these seasons, I try to find any small moments I can to get quiet.

This usually means leaving the radio off in my car on my way to pick up the kiddos after work. Or asking Cory to pick up the kids so I can get 10 minutes at home to myself, in quiet, to regroup before the rest of the family shows up and our evening begins. (This also goes back to getting up before the minions do because it’s a small moment we can use to embrace the quiet.)

If you’re currently in a place where life just feels like TOO MUCH, I encourage you to try to find any small little slots of time you can to just sit in the quiet and mentally regroup. Mediate. Pray. Do whatever helps you mentally take on the next chunk of busyness and avoid burnout.

6. Listen to your body and rest when you need to.

When the bubbles of overwhelm start to rise up, it’s probably time to take a break. I feel like I go hard about 6 days a week, so by Saturday/Sunday I am just DONE and I quit all the things. I don’t go on social media. I stay in pj’s much longer than necessary. I nap or read during the kids’ quiet time.

I’ve had to learn this the hard way, but if I don’t physically MAKE MYSELF slow down, my body will start to pay the price. I’ll start to get a cold, I’ll get short-tempered with my family, or I’ll even enter bouts of feeling almost mildly depressed. I think it boils down to science, really (and I’m sure you’ve heard the saying): We can’t pour from an empty cup.

If your body is telling you that you’re empty, LISTEN. And take a break. I promise the world will not fall apart. The dishes might not get done and the laundry might not all be folded, but your body will have rested. And that’s sometimes the most important thing.  

Wrapping Up.

I hope you know that it’s ok to just own the down times. To find the quiet, to admit you need to slow down, to listen to your body, and to turn off the radio in the car. If you’re looking to avoid burnout, please give yourself the gift of creating more margin.

OVER TO YOU: Which one of these tips resonated with you the most? Or do you have another one you’d add to the list? Let me know in the comments below!

Also, if you’re feeling like you’re on the edge of burnout, I encourage you to check out this quick little guide I wrote about 5 simple ways to get out of survival mode. You can find it by clicking here!