What’s Intentional Living? A Beginner’s Guide + How to Implement It
This past January, I made a vision board for the year ahead. Lately, instead of getting wound up in a million different goals, I’ve been choosing a “word of the year.” Something that inspires me and motivates me to keep moving forward all year long.
At the time I was creating my vision board, the word “intentional” kept popping into my head. I wanted this year to be the year that I got intentional about taking action. I wanted to move out of the “dreaming” stage and into actually embracing what I said was important to me. I knew a lot about living with intention, but I wasn’t really living it out and I wanted 2023 to be different.
Little did I know the lasting effects this one simple word would have on me this year.
As I learned and grew and started taking action in an effort to dig deeper into intentional living, lots of things changed in 2023. I ended up quitting my full-time office job and now work from home. I even revamped this blog to start sharing all that I know about intentional living in hopes of helping someone else fall in love with their life and begin living in more alignment with what’s important to them.
Having said all this, I realize that the phrase “intentional living” can be a little vague.
What the heck does it actually mean, what does it look like, and where do actually start on this path?
Before we dive into the definition and action steps, I think it’s important to review what intentional living is not.
Things Intentional Living is Not
I’ve seen a lot of information out there over the years and in an effort to clarify exactly what we’re talking about when it comes to intentional living, it’s probably best to weed out some of the misconceptions or assumptions. So, here’s what intentional living is not:
Only Decluttering or Becoming a Minimalist
When I first started Googling how to live intentionally, I found a lot of information about decluttering. And I totally get it. Removing physical clutter absolutely helps us remove mental clutter. It’s less to pick up every day and helps us to stop spending our money on things we don’t need. Also, part of simple living is to actually (and physically) remove the junk that’s keeping us weighed down.
So I definitely don’t want to discount the importance of decluttering! But I also feel like it’s only part of the puzzle. While removing unnecessary items can help you breathe a little easier and feel a little lighter, it won’t help you get to the root of what matters to you and why.
Decluttering is step 2 in the process. It has its time and place, but just because you decluttered doesn’t mean you’re actually living in alignment with what matters to you. Likewise, you don’t have to declutter to begin living with more intention.
Additionally, you don’t have to become a minimalist to enjoy living a little simpler or with more intention. I am most definitely not a minimalist. I love cute decor and having multiple sweater options for my next date night. If you want to lean more towards minimalism, that’s great! But just know that you don’t have to become one to start living with intention.
Boring Routines
I will admit that when I first started this blog I thought I’d have to follow a bunch of mundane routines and rhythms. Is it just me, or does living intentionally sometimes look a little… boring?
However, I’ve found the opposite to be true. There is actually so much freedom on the other side of living with intention! Knowing what matters to you and then making choices based on that foundation allows you to live on your own terms and create a life you enjoy instead of simply going through routine tasks each day.
Yes, rhythms and routines also have their place here to help us stay on track, keep moving toward our goals, and live within alignment of our priorities. But I’ve found intentional living to be anything but boring! Personally, it’s given me purpose and helped me understand why I’m doing the things I’m doing. It’s not just creating a new checklist and turning on autopilot.
What Intentional Living Is
Ultimately, living with intention means identifying your core values and then living your life in alignment with those values. It goes to the root of who you are and what matters to you.
This sounds simple, but I have to say that I spent several years never giving my core values a single thought.
Sure I had goals and aspirations and dreams and desires, but it wasn’t until my life was truly out of alignment that the red flags started flying and the flare guns started going off. That’s when I started laying in bed going, wait a minute. Is this all there is? Create a family and then just work until retirement if I’m lucky enough to live that long? There has to be more than this!
Once I went deep into what truly mattered to me and why, I realized I wasn’t living the kind of life I really felt compelled to live.
So, let’s take a little deeper dive into what intentional living means and looks like:
No More Autopilot
Intentional living requires you to switch off autopilot and engage with the life that’s already in front of you. Not the life you wish you had, but the one you actually have.
One of my favorite quotes is “You did not wake up today to be mediocre.” I don’t know who to credit for that quote, but it fires me up every time. Autopilot feels a lot like mundaneness and mediocrity. It’s going through the motions, not taking the time to stop and smell the roses (so to speak).
Intentional living means coming alive to the life that’s already happening right before you and acknowledging that you have some autonomy and power over what happens next. It’s finding a way to be content with what you have while also working to make it align more closely with what matters to you. It’s engaging and taking an active part in what the day brings.
Getting Clear About What Actually Matters to Y.O.U.
What I’m about to say is something I wish I had known or heard of years ago when my only goal was to tick all the societal boxes:
What you care about matters.
It seems to me, for women especially, that what we care about tends to get overrun by what other people in our lives say matters. And I’m not just talking about the opinions of those in our real lives who are close to us. The news, magazines, online influencers… EVERYONE has an opinion. (Yes, even me!) And we can get really caught up listening to everyone else’s opinion before we pause to consider what it is that we actually want.
Intentional living is a chance for you to do that. To get clear about your own opinion and to ask yourself some serious questions. And then, take that a step further and start living a life that aligns with what you care about.
Intentional Living = A Lifestyle and a Practice
I’m learning that there’s really no end point to living with intention. It’s more of a practice and a journey. A lifestyle. It’s not something you wake up and immediately achieve.
It also grows and changes with the season you’re in. What mattered to me 5 years ago has obviously evolved and changed compared to what matters to me now. There is no real end all, be all. It just ebbs and flows.
Also, I’ll be the first one to tell you that choosing to live with intention is messy. Worth it, of course! But definitely imperfect. Some days you’ll feel like you couldn’t be living in more alignment. And then the next day you’ll find you’re trying to conquer way too much on your to-do list and the stress of it all has you zoning out and scrolling Instagram instead of spending quality time with your spouse or family. (Not that I would know… but yes, this story may or may not be a real-life example.)
How to Start Living With More Intention
I hope so far that this is giving you a clearer picture of what living a life of intention looks like. Essentially, it’s intentionally choosing how you want to live your life. Pretty simple, right?
Now, it’s great to have an understanding of what it is, but how do we actually get moving in that direction?
I want to offer a few simple, easy-to-implement guidelines to help you start moving toward living with more intention.
Make a List of Things That Matter to You
I started this practice after reading Bob Goff’s Dream Big book where he walks you through how to make an “ambitions” list. This list reflects our deepest desires. While this may sound like a simple bucket list, the trick is to really think about the legacy you want to leave behind and get ultra-clear on what matters to you and why. So, here’s a few questions you can ask yourself to get started:
- What matters to you?
- What do you want to spend your time doing?
- What core values are important to you? (Think freedom, flexibility, community, relationships, balance, etc. To get you started, James Clear has a list of 50 core values you can reflect on!)
- What do I want in this season of life?
- What makes me feel fulfilled?
- What legacy do I want to leave behind?
I encourage you to make the list. And don’t edit yourself! Don’t wave something off because it may seem silly or might take too long to reach. This list is yours and yours alone. You don’t have to share it. Don’t edit yourself here.
Understand Your Strengths and Personality Traits
I’m a sucker for personality tests. Like, a huge nerd. I’ve done it all: Strengths Finder, High 5, Myers and Briggs, the DISC assessment, and you bet I know my Enneagram number. (As well as following at least a handful of Enneagram accounts on IG so I can keep learning more!)
For what it’s worth, you DO NOT need to take a bunch of personality tests, but I do think it’s helpful to understand how God created you, including the gifts and strengths He passed on to you.
For much of my early adult life, I heard many people talk about how we need to work on or “fix” our weaknesses. But I’ve decided to flip that script. What if we leaned into our strengths instead?
If you’re looking to live with more intention, it really does help to start by learning more about yourself. What motivates you? Do you like being around people or do you prefer to be alone? This ties in nicely with identifying what matters to you. After taking a personality test or discovering your Enneagram number, you might have a better understanding of why some things matter to you. This can bring it all full circle.
If you’ve never taken a personality test, an easy one to start with is High 5. After the assessment, you’ll receive your 5 highest strengths with an explanation of each. It’s kind of fun! (Though I am biased and not everyone probably thinks they’re as fun as I do.)
Start Small
If this whole process feels overwhelming, I’d encourage you to just pick one thing you want to be more intentional about. For example, maybe you’d like to spend more time with your kids in the evening. They may have activities that we can’t avoid, but are there any other small ways you can start spending more time together? Maybe you start by putting your phone away during the evening or designating one night as a family game night.
You don’t have to blow up your life to start living with more intention. It’s meant to be a practice and it’s ok if it takes some time to implement a few new ones. You are allowed to move at your own pace.
Think About What You Can Eliminate
While it helps to get clear on what matters to you, I’m guessing your list will reveal a few sticking points. Meaning, you’ll likely discover that in order to start living with more intention, you’ll need to remove a few things from your life that aren’t taking you where you want to go.
As you review your list, can you identify a few areas that you can start eliminating? Or maybe just changing how it’s done? Is there something on your calendar that a commitment you’ve made that it’s time to nix? Is there something you keep saying yes to that’s draining your energy?
Eliminating what’s not jiving with your list of things that matter to you is one of the first ways to start living in alignment. If something is causing you stress and the only reason you’re saying “yes” to it is because you feel like you should, now’s the time to start figuring out how to eliminate that stressor.
This won’t be a perfect art. And sometimes there are things that we simply can’t eliminate in our current season of life, even if it’s bringing us stress. But I think it helps to start practicing. Start with something small that’s an easy no. As you continue turning down things that don’t bring you joy, you’ll find it easier to do so in the future. It’s like a muscle. The more you practice eliminating what’s not on your list of priorities, the easier it gets.
A Final Note on Intentional Living: You’re Doing Great
If you’re curious about living with more intention at all, even googling the idea or reading this article is a step in the right direction! If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that you don’t have to have all the answers to get started. There is no room for perfection in living intentionally. It’s trying things and tweaking. It’s small steps. It’s finding ways to relax in your own life a little bit without having to strive for the next big societal checkmark.
There’s so much freedom on the other side of intentional living. Every baby step counts! You’re doing great.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on intentional living! Are you just beginning your journey or ready to dig a little deeper? Let me know in the comments below! I love hearing from you!
