Reflections on Turning 38 🎂

At the end of October, I turned 38. 38!

I’m officially 2 years away from the age I thought was SOOOOO OOOOOLD when I was a child. I remember family members turning 40 with black colored balloons and tablecloths and cakes topped with “Over the Hill” mantras. 🫠

But as I’m *quite literally* knocking on 40’s door (and approaching the hilltop!) I’m realizing there’s a lot of beauty in getting older, too. Sure, aging comes with crow’s feet and white hairs and the chance to throw your back out with just one aggressive sneeze, but it also comes with, in my opinion, increasing levels of freedom. 

I find myself letting so much more roll off my back than I used to. I have a greater desire to keep my eyes on my own paper so to speak, rather than comparing my life to others. Additionally, I have more confidence in who I am, and I have a stronger intuition as I find it easier to lean into listening to myself rather than the numerous voices around me. 

I’m also finding (read: learning) ways to be kinder to myself as I age. 

I am, by nature, an ambitious person. I enjoy taking on new challenges, setting aggressive goals, and having something to work toward. 

This kind of thinking, however, can be a slippery slope. It’s led me to burnout before and if I’m not careful, my focus can be so outcome-oriented that I forget to take good care of myself. I forget to give myself grace, to take breaks and rest. 

My old self would view each birthday (or new year, or new school year… basically any season of life that meant FRESH START) and convert that into an opportunity to load up my paper planner with lofty goals and high expectations. 

I have talked A LOT about goals on this blog, so I won’t go into my new thought process behind them right now, but I do want to say that my list of things I want to focus on in the next year is incredibly small. Not because I don’t have dreams and aspirations, but because I’m realizing that staying present and taking care of myself are really the best things I can do.

Regardless of what life looks like a year from now, I know the things that truly matter aren’t on some checklist or goal sheet. 

What truly matters are the people who gather around my dining room table, and the way I treat my youngest son when I’ve already asked SIX EVER-LOVING TIMES to put on his shoes, but I need to say it a seventh. It’s in the things I say yes to and the things I walk away from. It’s in loving myself well so I can love others well, too. 

So, in the spirit of reflection and in going slow, easy, and lovingly, I want to share the 4 things I hope to pour my energy into this year: 

1. The art/craft/discipline of writing.   

In the past, I have largely treated writing as a means to an end. Through freelancing, writing became an income stream. And before posting on Instagram ALL THE TIME led me to exhaustion, I used writing as a way to hopefully, one day, build a following.

When I think about my relationship with this creative outlet, though, I realize I miss writing just for fun. For the love of it. For the way I adore seeing words flow and strung together in just the right way. I want to feel joy again from creative writing. In the “Year of 38,” I hope to return to writing as a hobby and find a daily practice that fits with my lifestyle. 

2. The art/craft of photography. 

I have always wanted to take more photos. I hate leaving an activity or event with the kiddos and realizing I maybe took one picture, and it was blurry. 🥴 (Even better, the one photo is of my six-year-old’s feet because he took it himself. 🤦‍♀️)

This year, instead of saying I just want to take more photos, though, I want to put some effort into taking photos well. I don’t know what that looks like just yet. Maybe a short course on photography for beginners? Who knows. I don’t need to be an expert by any means, I just know that I want to learn something new here. 

3. Slowly swapping processed foods for whole foods. 

It’s 2024 and diets are OUT. (Not that they’ve ever been in for me… I tried calorie counting once and it was AWFUL. I’ve also never believed in scarcity around food or omitting food groups but to each their own and I digress.😊) What’s in for me right now when it comes to health/nutrition/food is choosing meals and snacks that are good for me.

i.e., nourishing, healthy, whole foods that fuel me and make me feel good. Over the course of the following year, I hope to slowly swap out processed items for whole foods. This, of course, takes time and effort, but I’m looking at some of the items we have on hand at the house and I’m realizing they aren’t doing anyone a bit of good. This project has been one I’ve been thinking about for a while, but I finally feel like this year I have the energy (and desire) to take it on. 

As a final thought on this idea, I’m going to also give myself the gift of time here. Young me would have come in, guns blazing, ready to change everything right now. Older (wiser?) me knows sudden change can be a recipe for disaster. So, I’m going to go slowly with this. Small tweaks. One swap at a time. 

4. Finding/scheduling/leaning into more fun. 

Since school started for the kiddos back in August, more of my time has revolved around sporting events, activities, and practices. Of course, this is a season of life that’s wonderful in its own way. But if I’m not careful, I let the list of things I have to do outweigh the fun. I’ve recently let myself fall into a slump of only checking off the to-do list and getting everyone where they need to be.

When “fun” is out of the picture, I feel it. I need concerts and girl’s nights and shopping and a chance to get out of town (just because, not because I’m driving someone to a sporting event). I need silly movies and drinks on patios and loud music and friends. Life can be fun if we let it! And it doesn’t have to be fancy. I just sometimes forget to make room for fun when life gets busy. 

Wrapping Up

I’m not sure what the year ahead will bring. (Does anyone?) I’ve spent previous birthdays trying to figure it out, plan ahead, and chase lofty goals. This year, I’m parting ways with those old habits. I’m moving slowly and choosing to spend my energy on just a few things that matter right now. 

Cheers to the year of 38! 🥂