A Life Update: Personal Musings on Life + Business

It’s been roughly a year since I quit my full-time bank job.

It’s wild to think about the changes that can happen in a single calendar year. Last year at this time, I was mulling over what it looks like to reach a fork in the road. We were also on the cusp of summer break. It would be the first summer I’d work from home with the kids here and I remember being PETRIFIED about what that would look like.

I also had kids who were only 10, 8, and 5 at the time. For perspective, in a couple of months, I’ll have a 6th, 4th, and 1st grader. (HOW??)

Anyway, in light of reflecting over the last year, I thought I’d share a few things that have changed, a few things I’ve learned, and a few things I’m releasing now that I’m another year older.

If I had to summarize the past year, I’d say that it’s been a resilience-building year of constantly challenging the status quo.

Here’s what I mean.

A Year of Business

Let’s start with the main thing that’s happened in the past year. I quit a lovely, stable job, to take on the contract world of freelancing + building my own blog/brand.

75% of the time, I’m still thrilled that I made this leap. It’s challenging, rewarding, flexible, and all on my own terms. Major bonuses.

25% of the time, however, I want to throw in the towel, blow it all up, and go back to working a job (WITH PEOPLE) that only requires me to clock my hours before heading home.

So, this brings me to the first lesson about business I learned this year:

Building a business is HARD.

Yes, I heard that it would be before going into it. And no, I didn’t expect it to go perfectly. But, like parenthood, you can’t fully understand the depth of a challenge like this unless you’re in it. And let me tell you, I’ve had a few moments in the past year where I’ve been IN IT.

I’ve had sleepless nights, lost clients, and experienced numerous unmet expectations. I’ve never felt so alive and free yet so stressed all at the same time before. Turns out, building a business can do that to a person. (Shocking, I know.)

But, even with the stressful moments and the occasional desire to blow it all up and walk away, I still feel strongly that I’m on the right path. Sure, the next steps are looking a little foggy, but I think that’s just how it goes.

This brings me to the second thing I’ve learned about business this year:

There is no one “right” way to do it.

This is a lesson I’ve only been learning recently. But after a year of watching what others are doing and researching business + marketing tactics like my life depended on it, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not meant to run my business exactly like everyone else does.

We live in the age of information. Anything we want to know or learn is in the palm of our hands and at the click of a button. Most of the time, this is wonderful! If you want to learn something new, just YouTube it! Or find a podcast, download a book, and ask a Facebook group.

However, there comes a point when this information is simply too much, and we have to decide if we’re going to take everyone’s advice or blaze a new trail.

That’s the thing about business. While many strategies carry over from one area to another, most of it is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor.

I’ve had to have a few hard conversations with myself lately on exactly what I want to do and how I want to do it. This is where challenging the status quo comes in.

The next year and beyond.

Taking what I’ve learned (keep in mind these are only the 2 biggest lessons and there are several other smaller ones not listed here), I took this past week to really just shut down and get clear about what I want for my business. How do I want to spend my time and energy going forward? What do I want to say? How do I want to show up and where can I be helpful?

And, in going deep with these questions, I came to the realization that maybe I’m not meant to be an advice giver, but rather a storyteller of what it looks like to live a joyful, everyday life.

What I mean is that the internet feels really loud right now. In the age of information, we don’t have to look far to find someone telling us what we “should” or “need” to be doing in order to live a better life.

Do I want to be part of the noise, constantly giving advice and telling people what to do? Or do I want to be different, offering simple encouragement and reminders that your life is probably pretty dang good already? Do I want to be perceived as an expert, or do I want to humbly share what I’m learning and let my story be enough?

Yes, I absolutely want to be helpful, and I think I’m discovering that my true purpose in life is to help others create a life they love, too. I can do that by coming alongside you, encouraging you, guiding you, and sharing my stories. I don’t have to be an expert and I definitely don’t want to pretend to be one. In fact, I’m learning it’s better to NOT have all the answers. Because when we know we don’t know it all, it leaves room for curiosity and learning.

So, now that we’ve covered the business side of things, let’s chat about personal life updates.

A New Season of Life

As a business owner, the lines between business and personal quickly and easily blur. What I learn about business carries over into my day-to-day life and vice versa. I never knew building a business would equate to personal development on so many levels!

Which brings me to takeaway #1 on the personal side of things:

I am more than my business.

This statement seems simple and obvious enough, right? I know that I wear many hats. I’m a mom, a daughter, a friend, and an individual, beautiful soul.

But when it comes to growing and building a business, it’s easy for me to let my worth get caught up in the successes of the job.

Most recently, I noticed that the more I posted on social media (in order to follow all the business guru’s advice mentioned above), the more I was looking for outward approval. My worry over how I was being perceived also skyrocketed.

I honestly didn’t think I was the type of person who would ever get caught up in views, likes, and comments, but let me tell you, that is a slippery slope that goes fast and can catch even the most intuitive and diligent people off guard. And I found myself going down that route.

Clearly not ideal, to say the least.

Which brought me to an astonishing realization:

My offline life is more important to me than my online one.

I think at some point I fell into the belief and trap that in order to have a successful business, you had to share your entire life online. Or at least, various and frequent parts of it.

For most of this past year, I thought that was what I needed to do, but let me also say that it just never felt right.

I would find myself stressing over what to post, how often to post, and how I wanted to be seen online. I know this falls in line with business, but it was totally affecting my personal life.

Here’s the thing it’s taken me almost a year to realize:

Maybe I don’t want the big business or big following that all the business gurus say I should or need to have. Maybe all I want is a quiet and peaceful life.

Yes, I want a successful business. Yes, I’m always working to bring in more income. But I also have to be mindful of what expense I’m willing to pay in order to build a business that negatively impacts my personal well-being.

My kids, my hubby, my close friends, my day-to-day life, writing these blog posts… they all bring me so much joy and fullness already. That’s what matters to me. What’s already around me in my offline life is pretty dang great.

Which brings me to my last segment…

I’m ushering in a new era.

Building a business and living a full life are BIG things that can take a lot out of a person. Both are beautiful and worth working toward, but both require intentionality and a lot more “I don’t give a crap” than I ever realized before this past year.

I swear that each day I inch further and further toward fully wrapping my head around this truth: We only get this ONE LIFE.

In the words of my bestie at dinner the other night: “We don’t get a doover.”

I’m not saying this to freak you out or add urgency to an already hectic life, I’m simply saying this out of truth. Once we accept the fact that this is it and we only get this one life to live, suddenly the decisions we have to make and the opinions of others that we’ve been letting control us seem less important.

I want to build a life that I am proud of. One that is specific and beautiful to me, even though it might look different to someone else. I also don’t want my life to be a carbon copy of what someone else is building. I want to build a beautiful life by being me. By serving. By partnering with God on what to do and where to go.

Wrapping Up

I guess you could say that in this past year, I’ve learned more about myself than I ever thought I would. I’ve grown and stretched and am fully aware that I’m still not where I want to be.

But I’m also grateful for where I am right now. I’m thankful for what I’ve learned and aware that each hiccup in the road is just another life lesson I can learn from.

For the first time in my life, I’m also not sure what the future holds. I have ideas. I have visions and believe in the power of not giving up on your dreams (because those are some of my favorite things)! But I’m holding the timeline and the action steps much looser now than I used to. I’m focusing more on simply putting one foot in front of the other and focusing less on trying to figure it all out in one sitting.

And maybe, just maybe, that was the biggest lesson I needed to learn this past year after all.