My Struggle to Be Present

“I want you to sit with me, Mama.”

My five year old says this every once in a while when we’re having “movie nights” or quiet nights at home. And every time she says it, it sheds light on one of my biggest struggles: I’m not great at this whole “being present” thing sometimes.

Normally the kids are the ones watching the movies or having some quiet time while I’m furiously completing some task in the other room. But really, the kiddos just want me to sit with them. Snuggle with them. Talk with them. Watch the silly cartoon movie with them. BE WITH THEM.

I wish I were better at this. Oh how I wish I were better! It’s something I’m working on and I thought I would share because maybe it’s something you’re struggling with, too.

The Struggles

I feel like there are a couple reasons why I struggle with being present. These aren’t excuses by any means! These are just the reasons why my mind isn’t always where it should be.

Dealing with the comparison trap of the future.

Fellow Mamas, how physically demanding is this life with littles? I love their squishy little faces, and the way they light up over the simplest things, and of course how stoked they still are to spend time with me.

But ya’ll, I sometimes think about how blissful it will be one day to drink my ENTIRE CUP OF COFFEE without having to reheat it in the microwave. I look into the future and sometimes it seems dreamy and less demanding. All of that causes me to compare my life today with what I think my life will be like down the road.

Ever heard the phrases, “I’ll be happier when…” or “Things will be different when…” These are tricky for me. Getting run down from the demand of doing and being all the things in this phase of life, can sometimes cause me to start comparing my current life with my future life. And it’s pretty difficult to stay happy in the present when you’re always thinking about the future.

Squirrel Syndrome.

I am an Enneagram 3, an achiever, so once I’ve completed something, I’m off to the next thing. I don’t take much time to just sit and be still. I’m usually caught running from one thing to the next.

This even applies to simple tasks, like small to-do’s around the house. I’m moving on from one thing to the next incredibly fast, and it makes me completely distracted.

I have a hard time sitting still or taking time to just BE. Be still. Be present. Be quiet. Be small.

I’m the dog that sees the squirrel and just has to chase it. Ug.

Things I’m trying to be more present

Here’s what I’m working on to try to help me be more in the moment.

Writing down 5 things I’m grateful for each day

Of course you knew that I was going to bring some form of journaling into this post, right? 😉 Truthfully though, every morning I try to write down 5 things I’m thankful for that day. I do this before the kids are even out of bed so I have time to sit quietly and focus on what awesome blessings I have in my life.

A lot can be said about having an attitude of gratitude. Mostly for me, it helps to put everything into perspective. It makes me realize how small I am compared to this crazy world, and it makes me so thankful for the little things I have going right in life.

Sitting in the quiet, thinking about the awesome things I have going on right now, today helps me tune into the present instead of looking toward the future or the next thing on my list.

Taking time to think about the kind of wife/mom/person I want to be.

It can be so easy to fall into the trap of what everyone else is doing, right? We all know how social media can affect us and the MOM GUILT. I could write an entire post on Mom guilt.

So one thing that helps me is to think about who I want to be. What’s important to me? What values do I want to pass on to my kids? What type of wife/mom/person do I want to be and how can I be a light to others?

Focusing on who I want to be today helps to ground me in the present.

Saying “yes” more.

This seems a little ironic because lately I feel like I’ve been an advocate for saying no. BUT, what I mean by saying “yes” more is saying yes to the little things the most loving people in my life ask me to do.

Yes to having milk shakes after dinner tonight. Yes to wearing our snow boots to school when there’s no snow. Yes to watching that movie with my 5 year old.

Saying yes to the little things that are important to the people I care about makes it a little easier to stay focused on what’s going on at the moment.

Wrapping up.

I feel like this “being present” thing will always be a work in progress for me. But I also feel like it will get better over time as I continue to work on it! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to wrap up my writing and go watch a movie with the kiddos. 🙂

Any other mamas struggle with being present or have any tricks to stay in the moment? I’d love to hear about you in the comments below!