How to Conquer Feeling Lost in Motherhood

Welcome to the HOOD. Motherhood that is. (Yes, that was cheesy, but I can’t help myself.)

What a club, right? I’ve never been more in love and more stressed (sometimes in the same dang day) since becoming a Mom. It’s a rollercoaster ride of emotions to say the least.

And, in talking with other moms, I don’t think anything is truer than feeling kind of lost in the motherhood game. You’re not the you from before kids. But, finding the new you – the you with kids – is a definite challenge.

I know I’ve struggled with this myself, so if you’re feeling lost, here’s what I’ve found to help conquer those feelings.

Love on those babies, but don’t let them become Your Whole Entire Life.

Those angels, they consume A LOT of our time, don’t they? There’s no way to get around the feeling of being totally and utterly consumed sometimes as a parent. I’ve had more than a few long, stressful days where it feels like I can’t even BREATHE because the needs are so overwhelmingly great.

Here’s my reminder for myself and for you, mama: While it feels like kids can pretty much consume our lives, we can’t let our entire life be about the kiddos! Don’t hate me for saying this, but you still have to do things for you. You still deserve to go on date nights and to do things that you enjoy.

These kiddos (God-willing) will be headed off to college and the years will fly by fast. Have you thought about the kind of person you were before the kids or the kind of person you’ll be when they’re gone, starting a life of their own? Isn’t our goal as parents to raise kiddos up to be well-adjusted adults who can think for themselves anyway?

Yes, these little kiddos of ours sometimes feel like they’re sucking the physical life right out of us with all of their needs right now. (FOR REAL.) But that doesn’t mean your entire life should revolve around them. You are a person, too, sister. Don’t forger that.

Don’t stop taking care of yourself.

Like, physically taking good care of yourself.

Your health still matters. It’s so, so easy to put ourselves on the back burner and think that we’ll start taking better care of our bodies later when things get easier, when the kids are less involved, when [you fill in the blank]. Listen, friend, there is no better time than now to start taking care of yourself because you are important!

So get the sleep you need, drink lots of water, and treat your body with kindness. And don’t forget to shower, either. Showering helps. 😉

You still have to do things for you.

Get your nails done, get a message, go to the gym, read your Bible. You still have to be you and you still have to do things that fill up your cup.

Obviously I’m not advocating for you to be gone all the time from your kids, but what I’m saying is that your kids need the whole you. The you that respects herself, is kind to herself, and takes care of herself so she can take care of others.

Because to be honest, the only way I know how to take good care of others is to first take good care of myself. If I’m running on empty, how can I continue to poor out onto others? When I’m running ragged, I get snappy and anxious. It’s exhausting and doesn’t end well for all parties involved. (You can ask any member of my family for a reference here. I’m sure they would confirm this point.)

So if you’re feeling like your soul is running toward “E”, then it’s a good sign you need to go do something for you.

Discover and pursue your purpose.

PURPOSE. Gosh, I could talk for hours about finding and living out your purpose. But for now, we’re just going to keep this chat within the limits of how it can make you feel less lost in motherhood. Sound good?

Sometimes, as a Mom, our whole purpose can feel like it’s just momming, right? As we’ve discussed, these little kiddos need us and it’s our job to make sure they grow up to be solid adults. That’s a huge calling!

But can I just say, that while being a mom is a HUGE purpose and there are seasons when being a mom is what needs to be our main focus, I also think God created us for more. Because our kids deserve to see their mom doing something she loves and rocks at.

So whether it’s a job, a hobby, volunteering, or opening your home to friends and neighbors, don’t forget to pursue those other callings God has laid on your heart!

Stay Connected with your girlfriends.

As a mom, we sometimes get sucked into this vortex of work and home, work and home, work and home. It’s difficult (especially when these littles are, well, little) to find time to do anything other than keep our heads above water.

But let me encourage you today to make some time to see your friends. Make. The. Time. It’s not always easy to find the time to grab dinner or coffee or go for a walk, but I’m convinced the only way to make it through motherhood is to have a circle of great ladies to back you. To not only tell you you’re doing great, but to also remind you that you’re not crazy and that this motherhood gig is TOUGH.

If you don’t have a circle or you’re looking to make some more mom-friends, don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. Join a MOPS group, volunteer with some other moms at school, or ask an acquaintance for coffee to get to know her better.

Listen ladies, I’m going to stand on my soapbox here for a moment and just remind you that we need each other. We all need support and encouragement. I can see how a lack of community would lead to feeling lost in motherhood. So don’t be afraid to reach out if you’re looking for more, and ladies who have a great community, don’t be afraid to keep the door open and inviting others in. Ok, stepping off my soapbox now and putting it away. Thanks for listening. 😊

Wrapping Up.

Being a mom is kind of the best job ever. It’s an honor and a privilege that God blessed me with three sweet faces that call me mama on the daily. And I’m sure you feel the same way, friend! But I’m here to be a little reminder to you that while being a Mom is the best blessing ever, you are more than just a mom. You are YOU and you are AMAZING.

If you’re starting to feel a little lost in motherhood – in the emotions, the physical neediness, and the schedules – try a couple of the tips above. Don’t be afraid to spend some time on YOU.

**OVER TO YOU: Have you ever felt lost in motherhood? If you currently are, which tip from above do you plan to focus on?