Growth Over Goals + How I Plan to Use My Word for 2021

As I discussed in my last post, my focus this year is less about goal setting and more about growth. Growth over goals, y’all.

But this isn’t a post to simply talk about myself. It’s a post to explain what I’m doing in an effort to get your wheels turning, too. After all, a dream without intention is just that, a dream. How are you going to move forward this year? How are you planning to USE your word? In what ways do you plan to grow?

These are all great questions we should be asking ourselves!

So, having said that, If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that my word for the year is FREE. (Is this a bit cheesy? Yes. Yes, it is. But I digress.)

What I can’t do on Instagram is give you the in-depth reasons behind it or explain my game plan to accomplish this. As mentioned, I’m hoping that by sharing my story, it’ll encourage you to be a little more free and brave yourself. If nothing else, I’m sure you’ll get a good laugh out of one of the fears I’m hoping to finally overcome this year (see point #3).🤦‍♀️🤪

Enjoy, my friend!

A check up on my relationship with God.

It still feels a little difficult for me to talk about this stuff online. I never want to come across as preachy or like I have this all figured out or I’m some perfect person. FAR from it, friend!

But if I’m being completely honest, this is also kinda the foundation from which everything else in my life flows. So, it’s time to be transparent with you and let you know how things are going in this department (just like I let you know how things are going with parenthood and personal growth).

As I’ve been reading Fear is Not the Boss of You by Jennifer Allwood (SO GOOD by the way!) I’ve come to realize something that she writes about in the book: I’m not all that great at taking time to listen to God.

I can walk around all day sending up prayer requests and thankfulness, but I’m not great at the whole “listening” thing. I’m not great at asking questions, then getting quiet and waiting for the answer.

I think this is partially due to the fact that things are always moving so fast in this phase of my life as I juggle littles, work, life, and writing. But if I’m being brutally honest with myself, then I have to admit that mostly I don’t ask the questions because I’m straight up scared of the answers.

But, we all have our areas that need work, right? So now that I know, this is something I’m hoping to work on in 2021. Because this is where it all begins. When I’m lining up my life with what God asks of me, it’s when I feel the most free.

Authentically being myself.

The social media world is a crazy place. (Said everyone. Everywhere.)

You’ve probably heard it said that what you see online is someone else’s highlight reel (which I think is true). The perception of what’s real and what looks perfect can be completely skewed online.

I know this, and yet I still find myself falling into the trap of making sure I have the right filter, and the right lighting, and etc. etc.

But I’m also getting tired of this false perfection that seems to keep happening over and over again online. I mean listen, I’m kind of a goofy person! I make silly faces without even thinking about it. Sometimes (ok, most times) I blurt things out without thinking. And sometimes, on Saturday’s, I go without makeup. All. Day. Long. Crazy, right? (Yes, this is sarcasm.) But I can’t be alone in this!

I keep thinking about it and looking around at this crazy world we live in and I’ve come to a realization: The world needs authenticity now more than ever. The world needs us to show up exactly as we are and in the way God made us. Flaws and all!

Yes, I can still post pretty pictures on Instagram, but I can also be more brave to show up in a video on my stories without the perfect lighting, or the perfect speech, or the perfect hair.

I want to show up as me.

So that’s something I’ll be working on this year as well. Showing up online as just ME. Not a perfectly curated version of me. But as me. In real life. Doing what I’m doing.

Getting Unafraid of the camera.

Yes, you read this title correctly! This goes hand in hand with my plan to be more authentic online because I, Kris Larson, am decently afraid of posing in front of a camera. There, I said it. Also, I wonder if anyone else has this fear? It seems SO SILLY as I type it! But this has been an area that’s always felt uncomfortable to me.

When someone pulls out their phone to take a photo, I immediately panic. Should I smile or make a goofy face? What do I do with my hands? And don’t even get me started on selfies. I CRINGE every time I have to take one for social media. WHYYYYY am I this way? It’s just a picture! Woof.

So, I’ve decided I want to overcome this fear in 2021. Big time. (Side note: It’s only taken me 34 years to realize that my fear of the camera is irrational. About time, right?)

Honestly, for a while I’ve wanted this blog to have more personal photos and less stock photos. So that means I’m going to have to let someone actually take photos of me. (The horror, I know.)

Do you have anything that seems silly to you that you’re afraid of and looking to conquer this year? If so, you’re not alone! You and me, we have big things to do in this world. And we can’t get there if we can’t get over some of our fears. I’m positive there will still be awkward moments and tough days, but it’ll be worth it in the end. I just know it!

Making clearer, quicker decisions.

When little things land in my lap, I feel like I can make decisions pretty quickly. Have you ever seen me pick out a paint color? I can do it in under 5 minutes. I usually have a vision in mind and I know I’ll get overwhelmed by all the choices if I keep looking anyway, so it’s best to just pick a color and move on.

For whatever reason, however, this logic does not appear to work for larger, harder decisions. I’ve noticed I can sit around and think through things forEVER. This is especially true when it comes to family decisions. I become petrified that I’ll make the wrong choice and my kids will have to live with the consequences. I can let the decision making process last MONTHS if I’m not careful.

And do you know what happens in those months? I feel on edge and stressed. I worry and stew and pros and cons list things to DEATH.

This year, I’ve decided I’m tired of feeling that way.

The truth is, action is better than inaction. When I take action, when I’m moving, I can pivot. I can veer or make changes. But when I’m not moving at all, I’m just that: STUCK.

And being stuck doesn’t feel very freeing to me.

So, I’m confident I won’t make the “right choice” every single time something big comes up this year, but it will also feel so freeing to just decide and move forward.

Keeping in mind that the work I do at home will always trump the work I do in the world.

The biggest thing I learned in 2020 was to slow down and be more present with my family. It’s a gift I’m eternally grateful for. (I wrote a post about this topic that you can read here.)

But as things pick back up this year, I feel like I’m back to being more distracted. I know in my heart that I was way more intentional about listening to my kids and spending undistracted time with them 6 moths ago (granted we were also trying to homeschool, but I digress).

Knowing this always brings me back to my center and this truth: Raising these kiddos might be the most important work I ever do.

Sure I’ll have other things, too. (I’ve never been a fan of the mindset that motherhood is EVERYTHING. Don’t hate me.) But when the world shuts down and everything feels like it’s falling apart, I still have these 3 little souls that need me.

I was given these tiny hearts to steward and I want to steward them well. I want to bring hope to the next generation. I want to add to the world, not take away.

If everything else I try this year fails, it’ll be ok. But I hope I can succeed at growing as a leader to my kiddos.