A beginner’s Guide to Simple Living in 2023
Remember the first house you lived in right after college or as a newlywed couple?
If I had to guess, I’d bet we had similar situations: A tiny, somewhat run-down yet affordable home (because BILLS, right?)
The hubs and I rented a tiny farmhouse built in the early 1920s. The house itself had been updated at some point during the 70s but needed a lot of TLC. To be honest, it gave me the creeps. It felt like everything horror movies were made of. 👀
Despite the vintage setting, not all my time at that old farmhouse was wasted. While we lived there, I discovered a lot about myself. I realized I wanted to blog (and started my very first one!) I also fell in love with The Pioneer Woman and her down-home cooking + lifestyle. (Her four-layered chocolate cake is still a favorite recipe of mine!)
Thinking about those days, I realize that I’ve always loved simplicity.
As I go through my 30’s, I’m recognizing my longing to slow down. To start making changes in my own life, despite what’s being sold to me on social media or online.
I somehow already had the signs even back when I lived in that tiny, old farmhouse. It’s just taken me a number of years to finally realize it + genuinely start taking action.
It turns out, I crave simplicity. I crave silence. Way more than I ever thought I would. As I age, I’m becoming acutely aware of how much I want to embrace life, not race through it.
Maybe you’ve been feeling a tiny nudge in that direction, too. Maybe you’re wondering how to slow down, enjoy more, and live a little less complicated and a little more at peace.
If so, I’d love to offer what I’ve learned so far on my journey to live a little more simply + slowly, plus a few quick tips to help you get started!
What is Simple Living and what is it not?
First, I think we need a clearer definition of what simple living actually is, not what it’s perceived to be.
When I first started learning about living a little more simply, EVERYONE was talking about decluttering and minimalism. I mistakenly thought that since I wasn’t a minimalist (I’m still not), or a homesteader (I don’t even live in the country), or an introvert (flaming extravert over here!) then I couldn’t fully embrace living a simpler lifestyle.
The truth is, I am none of those things, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to slow down the crazy train of life and savor the simplicity that’s right in front of me.
I’ve learned that living simply is a choice. A choice anyone can make, including you.
Simple living = contentment and freedom. It means embracing who we actually are (not who we wish we could be) and finding joy in the mundane. It’s creating room to breathe so we feel less overwhelmed. It’s taking better care of ourselves; mind, body, and soul. It’s inviting slowness into our lives instead of filling up every moment with tasks, to-do’s, and plans.
You don’t have to get rid of everything you own or live off the grid to start living slowly. There is no one-size-fits-all here and that’s the beauty of it. Simple living is what YOU make it. Whatever brings you freedom and peace.
8 Ways to start living more simply in 2023.
Here are 8 ways that I’ve been slowing down, living a little simpler, and waking up feeling refreshed rather than depleted and rushed {most} mornings.
**NOTE: I would NOT recommend diving into all of these at once. If you’re looking to slow down and live more simply, I imagine that trying to do all of these at the same time will have the opposite effect and you’ll end up feeling overwhelmed instead. Start at the beginning. Pick one idea. Go all in. Repeat.☺️
Ok, here we go!
1. Set priorities!
About a year ago, I read Bob Goff’s book Dream Big. In it, he encourages readers to get excessively clear on their priorities. I decided to take action and do this for myself, and let me tell you, it was mind-blowing.
When I took pen to paper, I realized that a lot of things I had going on in my life really weren’t all that important to me. Likewise, I had things that I felt were important to me, but I was spending exactly zero time on them.
So let me ask, what’s important to you? Not what’s important to others or society. What’s important to you? Write down your priorities. Study them. See how you feel about them. Get super clear on your priorities, and I promise things will start to change.
We all have more choices than we think we do. More of what we think we “have” to do is actually optional if we think about it. Spend your time on what matters to you, and life will immediately start to feel more simple.
2. Turn off those NOTIFICATIONS and limit screen time.
A couple years ago, I decided to turn off all notifications on my phone except for texts and phone calls. I am an inbox zero type of person, so I realized that the second I saw that little red dot floating in the right-hand corner of an app, I would click on it. And before I knew it, 30 minutes of mindless scrolling would go by. (Guilty.)
If you’re looking to focus and cut out distractions, try getting your phone out of the way. Hannah Brencher is a writer I follow that does a 1,000 unplugged hours challenge, which I think is brilliant. I never thought my phone was much of a distraction until I started setting some boundaries and realized how much I wanted to pick it up.
Make life easier on yourself and just turn off the notifications. It’s one less thing pinging and begging to be checked.
3. Get quiet.
I have talked about this before, but I’m not the best at getting quiet. I like background noise. I like having podcasts or music on ALWAYS, so it’s a struggle to really let myself and my surroundings get all the way quiet.
But I do think there’s magic here. I’m finding that quiet = clarity. I think there’s a reason we find our best ideas in the shower. It’s quiet and we don’t have any other “background noise.” So I’m working my way through this and getting better at being ok with quiet.
Try it for yourself! Turn everything off. Pay attention to your surroundings. Shut out the noise. See what happens.
4. Find a way for work to mesh with your life, not drain your life.
I know it would be lovely if we didn’t have to work, right? Unfortunately, that’s just not a reality for a lot of us. There are bills to pay, kiddos to feed, and a roof that needs to stay over our heads. Besides, there are far too many boutiques out there now that need our support.😜
The tricky part, I’ve found, is how to make work fulfilling, not draining. I could go on for hours about finding work that meshes with our personality and goals and how I think the U.S. has it all wrong (Maybe I need a whole blog post on that?🤔), but I digress.
Let’s just focus on the fact that oftentimes, work feels separate from our home and personal life. I know I’ve personally felt the struggle of working a job that added overwhelm to my life instead of fulfillment and joy!
If you’ve ever had a hunch that your job is pulling you further away from your priorities and is no longer a good fit for you, now’s the time to start asking yourself some questions. What can you do to make your work-life WORK for you? Can you cut back on hours? Can you step down or step back from a role that no longer serves you? Maybe it’s time for a job change all together.
It’s been stated that the average American spends 90,000 hours of their life working. I know a job change can be tricky depending on your situation, but it’s so worth it to take a moment to check in with yourself. Is work working for you, or are you simply working life away?
5. Focus on contentment over wishing for more.
“More” feels like the American anthem sometimes, doesn’t it? But I guess marketing companies would have a tough time selling things if we didn’t feel like we needed more, right?☺️
I won’t pretend to be a perfect person who’s always content and never wants more. I’m not sure anyone feels that way 100% of the time. However, I do think there’s value in taking time to be content with what we already have before moving on to the next thing.
I think of our small home. I’ll be honest and tell you that there have been moments when I’ve been resentful that we’re still here. It was never our plan to stay this long so finding contentment in this space and season has definitely been a challenge.
But I’m also aware that this is where we are. I can either spend the time wishing I was somewhere else or find ways to be content and grateful for our tiny home. So, I’m working to focus on the positives. What’s the saying? “Love grows best in little houses like this?” Our home is cozy, warm, affordable, with less space to clean, and within walking distance to a lot of amenities.
Saying “be content with what you have” feels cliche and almost derogatory when you’re in the middle of a tough season. I get it. But I do think that with time and practice, we have the ability to shift our perspective to focus on the positives instead of focusing on what we don’t have.
6. Embrace who you are and who you were created to be.
This topic is something I feel especially passionate about. To be honest, as I was moving through college and young adulthood, I missed the boat here. And maybe embracing our true selves is only something that comes with age and maturity, I’m not sure.
But I truly, truly believe in the freedom that comes with finally accepting who we are, leaning into it, and letting our own unique light shine. If you’re looking to live a little simpler, cut out the clutter of trying to be who everyone else around you wants you to be. There’s no need to be perfect or to pretend to have it all together. You also don’t have to take the “traditional route” in life. (Ask me, I tried.) Being who we think we should be instead of exactly who we are can be an exhausting charade.
If you’re looking for more information on this topic, I did a whole 4 part series a while back. Part 1: Be a kid again. Part 2: Embrace who you are. Part 3: How to manage multiple ambitions. Part 4: Lean in.
7. Declutter where you can.
Please notice I said declutter here, and nothing about minimalism! I really think living simply can get a bad rap for being the same as minimalism and I have to say, it’s so not! Simplicity doesn’t mean we have to have bare walls and only wear the same 8 shirts every day. If that’s what it looks like for you, great! But please note that I don’t consider myself to be a minimalist at. all. I think things. Give me all the home décor and cozy blankets and a full closet!
Now, having said that, I think decluttering is still a piece of living a little more simply. While I’m not an advocate for getting rid of everything, I do see how more stuff = more stuff to clean, more stuff to organize, and more stuff to find a home for. I’m also reminded how important decluttering is every time I open the door to our storage room in the basement. 🫠
Additionally, “decluttering” can have multiple meanings. I’ve also talked about this topic more because I think decluttering can apply to our schedules, our to-do lists, and our minds, not just our coat closets.
8. Focus on single-tasking.
My word for 2023 is “intentional” and I’m finding that a large part of being more intentional is to cut out distractions and focus on only doing one thing at a time. By a show of hands, how many other women feel like single-tasking would be nearly impossible and multi-tasking is something we’re already good at?
Me too.🙋♀️
But the more I’m researching this topic (like this article from the American Psychological Association), I’m learning that maybe no one’s mind is geared toward constantly multi-tasking. Maybe we only think we’re good at it because we’ve survived so long doing it and we haven’t yet realized that we’re actually not meant to take on so many tasks at one time.
Now, I’m not saying all of this because I believe we should be only single-tasking everything all the time. That feels extreme (and quite frankly, impossible). But, I am here to encourage you to step back and ask yourself where you can cut out distractions and focus on doing just one thing.
Can you spend a few moments just being fully with your kids, your spouse, or your friends? Not while also running an errand, completing a household chore, responding to a text, reading an article, or searching Pinterest. (Ahem, preaching to myself here!) Likewise, can you take a few moments to read a book without having the TV on in the background or while also checking email?
Single-tasking is something I intend to dig into more, especially as it relates to productivity and I shift to doing more work at home. It makes sense how it can help us slow down and live simply. Try single-tasking something today and let me know what you notice!
Wrapping Up.
I have to say, I’m more content now than I think I’ve ever been. I’m sure part of it’s age. The 20’s feel a lot like rushing from one thing to another to check off the boxes. Part of it is my recent job change, too, I think. But most of it has been me just learning and re-learning how to slow down, soak up the little things, and focus on simple living.
I’m noticing I’m happiest when I’m typing and quiet music is playing in the background. Or when I look out the kitchen sink window in the early morning hours and the moon is making the snow sparkle while little puffs of white smoke float blissfully out of the neighbor’s chimneys. It’s the slow things. It’s the little things. It’s the God things.
**OVER TO YOU: What does simple living look like to you or which one of these tips do you intend to try first? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
