5 Ways to Stay Grounded when Your World is in Chaos

As I type this, my kiddos have been without school or daycare for approximately 5 weeks now due to COVID-19.

5. Straight. Weeks. 😱 (Meanwhile, I think I’ve aged 10 years in this short amount of time.)

To say that this pandemic has caused some stress would be an understatement, and I’m sure you would agree. Our changing world has worn me down both mentally and physically. It’s been stressful for my kids, my marriage, my job, and pretty much all the things.

This is an especially turbulent and crazy time, but it’s also a reminder to me that even after this pandemic is over, life can still come out of nowhere and hit us with some curveballs. What do we do then? How do we handle ourselves and stay grounded when life feels chaotic?

Listen, we can’t fix this, and we can’t go on with life trying to pretend it’s the same now as it was a few weeks ago. So, in the midst of it all, I’ve been discovering a few things that are really helping me mentally process this weird time.

Without further ado, here are 5 ways (plus a bonus tip!) to stay grounded when life feels chaotic.

1. It’s ok to be sad and to mourn, BUT also…

I’ve been saying this for weeks to my email group, but friend, THERE’S NO ROADMAP on this route we’re on. There’s no telling which way to go next or how we’ll get out of this forest. Our safety has been challenged and life as we knew it up until a few short weeks ago has completely changed!

It’s ok to feel sad about that. I’m a positive person, but I also think it’s unhealthy to push away all feelings of sadness. It’s OK to feel it all. It’s alright to have a day to just be sad; to mourn the loss of life you had before this all hit and to mourn the plans you made that went up in smoke.

Here is my official permission slip for you to feel your feelings, and have a day or two of sadness if you need it, my friend.

BUT, also…

(You knew there would be a but, didn’t you?) …Please don’t lose hope and don’t give up! Have your down day, and then pick yourself back up the best you can and move forward, sister!

If you’re feeling down, take a hot shower. Have a little cry if you need to. Eat the ice cream in the freezer. Polish off that bottle of wine. Go to bed at 8:30 if necessary. (No judging here. I’ve done all of these things in the past few weeks!) Have your moment, but don’t forget to get back up again, sweet friend!

2. Pick one little thing you Have Control over to Focus on.

We like to think we’re in control of everything, don’t we? I know I do.

Here’s what I’ve discovered with a world-wide epidemic, though: I never really had as much control over things as I thought I did. And yes, it stinks!

I don’t know when I’ll be able to get my roots died (#firstworldproblems) or when I’ll be able to order baby wipes again online. And let’s not even talk about the toilet paper shortage ridiculousness. Who knew that such simple things would be so out of our hands?

So, here’s what I’m discovering: When so much is out of our control, it helps to focus on something small in life that we CAN control. Something we can actually do something about.

For me right now, it’s getting back to eating salads at lunch. I was in a great routine at lunch time when the kids still had school and daycare. Now that they’re home and I find myself serving them over my lunch break, I tend to just nibble on the things they’re eating, or dive in and eat it myself. A spoonful of easy mac here, a chicken nugget there, a grilled cheese sandwich for all of us.

At first it was fun, but now my body can feel. it. Woof. I can tell I’m not taking good care of myself and that’s something I can actually do something about!

Maybe for you, it’s organizing your pantry or cleaning the guest bathroom. Maybe there’s a book you’ve been dying to read but you haven’t been able to find the time yet.

Whatever your small something is, go all in! Just go all in and focus entirely on doing something for you that you can actually manage. I promise it helps.

3. Find joy in the Small Stuff.

We’ve already discussed that not everything is cupcakes and rainbows right now, right? There’s going to be moments when you feel down or sad (and remember, that’s ok).

But I think a lot can be said for finding the small things that bring you joy. If you can put your focus on the positives and the little things that make your heart sing, it really does help.

For me right now, I’m enjoying some new make up that I bought and I’m trying out. (Who knew that contouring would bring me so much joy?) Maybe for you it’s to be able to get outside or to buy some new clothes. (Thank HEAVEN we can still order online.)

This might sound weird, but I’ve found that another thing that brings joy is finding an old routine (something you did before all this social distancing and Coronavirus jazz hit) that you can still do. So it sounds silly, but going to the grocery store on Saturday mornings brings me joy because it feels routine for me, and routine is something I don’t really have much of right now.

Another helpful tip: Avoid too much news chatter! I haven’t found the news to bring me much joy lately. Yes, I think it’s important to stay informed and to follow the rules from our government. But beyond that, I try not to get too caught up in the numbers and what the media is selling.

To summarize: Make a list or sit down today and think about the small things that bring you joy. Then look for more of those things! The more you look for joy, the more you’ll see it.

4. Don’t forget to connect with others!

I think it’s totally a God-thing that our world was forced to practice social distancing at a time when we have so much technology at hand.

Who knew you could use Zoom to meet up with friends (not just for work)? Or that you can conference call friends on Facebook messenger? (Ok maybe you already knew all of this and I’m just behind the times, but I digress.)

It’s amazing to me that at the same time we need to be staying home and physically away from each other, we have so many opportunities to connect online.

So please remember that there are options out there if you’re feeling lonely or like you just need to see a friend’s face. Don’t forget to reach out to others if you’re feeling lonely or down! Social distancing or not, we still need community.

Not to quote High School Musical or anything, but we’re honestly all in this together. So don’t be afraid to reach out, to schedule something, to make some time to have happy hour with your girlfriends (even though you can’t have restaurant-made margaritas plus chips and salsa like you usually do).

5. Remember that We all Need Heaping Truckloads of Grace (Yourself included).

If there was ever a time to practice giving grace: Self-quarantine during an epidemic is probably it. Just sayin’. And that doesn’t mean giving your spouse or your kids or your co-workers grace. You need to give YOURSELF grace, too, sister!

This is just such a weird time. Our routines have gone out the window. It’s harder now than ever before to be sure we’re taking good care of ourselves. We’re juggling homework and work-work, and relationships, and the lack of date nights, and feeding kids from dawn till dusk, and ALL THE THINGS.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself, mama. Don’t forget that you can have rough days because WE ALL ARE. And it’s not going to work out perfectly. It’s just not! Don’t beat yourself up or get down on yourself. Are you doing the best you can? Dang straight you are! And I GUARANTEE those littles of yours are going to remember the fun times of this, not the fact that you cried while making dinner yesterday. I promise.

Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing better than you think and EVERY SINGLE MAMA is going through the same thing right now. (Solidarity, my friend.)

Bonus: Get Outside!

As one last little bonus tip here, I feel it’s important to mention that now is the best time to get outside if you can! I’m sure you already know this, but SO MUCH GOOD comes from getting fresh air and good ol’ Vitamin D.

Take your kids on a walk. Use sidewalk chalk on the driveway. Take a bike ride around your neighborhood. It’s not like we can really go anywhere else, so we might as well take this opportunity to spend time in nature, yes?

As a bonus, the kiddos always seem to sleep better after being outside, don’t they? This is a positive I look forward to. 🙂

Wrapping up.

SO MUCH has changed recently. And there’s a chance that life will throw you for a loop even after all of this is over.

So it’s important to find some ways to stay grounded when life feels chaotic. It’s important to find ways to take care of yourself and to stay mentally well.

And let’s just pray the hair salons open up soon, shall we? 😉

**OVER TO YOU: Anything you would add that’s been helpful to you during this time? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!