5 Ways to Experience Joy this holiday season
A few days ago, I let a complaint slip to my husband about all the time and energy it takes to research, organize, and purchase gifts for the kiddos. (#firstworldproblems in full swing over here!) His response:
“Do you know how many moms say they actually enjoy this time leading up to Christmas? Probably not many.”
We both kind of laughed because it’s SO TRUE. But his response really made me stop and think. Do I experience joy leading up to the holidays? Or do I feel stress, guilt, and overwhelm?
When I think about it honestly, I know that the past few years have been much more toward the stress, guilt, and overwhelm end of the spectrum. I’ve spent many holidays so wrapped up in getting everything DONE that I’d forget to slow down and just BE. Be present. Be open. Be grateful. Be joyful.
Thankfully, this year has felt different. Yes, I still let out a complaint about all my gift-buying problems (I’m still human), but overall, I’d say this holiday season leading up to Christmas is the most fulfilled and joyful I’ve ever felt.
So what’s the reason? What am I doing this year that feels different than previous years? After some thought, I’ve boiled it down to 5 things that have really helped me experience joy this holiday season and I’m sharing them here. I hope they can help you to look at this season differently, too!
First, decide what your expectations are this holiday season.
Here’s the deal: I like to think I can multi-task and do it all, especially around the holiday season. I like to think that I can rock the gift-buying, volunteer more, do ALL the baking, be a fun and overly involved mom, etc. etc. etc.
But the truth is, I can’t do it all, all at the same time. I’m guessing you’ve figured out the same is true for you, too, friend?
It’s taken me a lot of holiday seasons to figure this out, but what helps the most is to focus on ONE thing I want to make a priority during the holidays. I can’t bake 10 different cookies to bring to neighbors AND have the perfect gifts wrapped early under the tree AND volunteer locally AND still be a good (read: not strung out and overly stressed) mama. Oh, and also keep up on day to day life like working full-time and helping kids with homework. IT JUST AIN’T HAPPENEN’.
So instead, I pick one thing. This year, I decided that I’m going to try to make this season as joyful and fun as I can for the kiddos. Of course this means I’m doing things like Elf on the Shelf that I NEVER thought I would do, but my kids think it’s hilarious. It’s also so fun to watch them run around the house trying to find Snowflake each morning.
This also means that it’s unlikely we’ll do a lot of baking this year. And I’m guessing there won’t be much room for extra volunteer hours. But I can’t tell you how much less stress I feel now that I’ve given myself the freedom to not have to do it all!
Take some time to think about this yourself. What’s the one thing you really want to take away from this holiday season? Do you want to take gift buying by storm? Volunteer more? Spend more time (as socially distances as possible) with family? Deciding what it is really want out of this holiday season can help you decide what to say yes to and reduce the stress.
Check your guilt at the door.
Confession time: I have spent a lot of Christmas and holiday seasons feeling guilty. Feeling guilty because I thought I hadn’t done enough, hadn’t bought the perfect gift, or hadn’t made our home feel “Christmas-y” enough.
I’m learning, though, and the one thing I’m realizing is that I don’t have room for both joy and guilt. If I want to enjoy this holiday season, I can’t be walking around feeling guilty because I don’t have the perfect decorations, or the perfect gift, or the perfect “fill in the blank.”
The holiday season is SO SHORT, y’all! If you and I are going to enjoy it, then we’ve got to leave the guilt behind. I’m fairly certain Jesus didn’t come so we’d feel guilty around the holidays. And, honestly, I think feeling bad about ourselves is the exact OPPOSITE of what we should be feeling this time of year.
This may take some practice, but really try letting some things go this holiday season. It’s ok if you don’t do it all (see point #1) or if things don’t turn out perfectly!
It’s ok to say “no.”
As I’ve discussed in this post I wrote a while back, I’m a “yes” girl. I want to say yes to all the things and do all the things and conquer it all (as mentioned in point #1).
But I don’t think the holiday season is a time for over-doing and over-committing. I think it’s a time for reflection and finding joy in the still and the quiet. And to do that, we’re going to have to practice saying “no.”
It’s ok to say no! It’s ok any time of year, but it’s especially ok during the holidays because if we don’t figure out how to turn down some things, we’ll be on the fast train to burn out. I’ve been there. And it’s an unenjoyable way to spend what’s supposed to be the most joyous and magical time of year.
So, if you’re struggling with this one, go back to point #1 and remember what your expectations are this holiday season. What do you really want to do well and focus on? If an opportunity arises that takes you further from your goal and will lead you to stress, then I formally give you permission to say no.
Create a “holiday bucket list.”
Ah, ok, this is idea of my favorites! I started creating a list a couple years ago in an effort to begin some traditions with our kiddos.
Every year when December rolls around, we ask ourselves (and now our kids since they’re old enough) what they’d like to do this holiday season. Some staples we have at this point include: Building a gingerbread house, driving around to look at Christmas lights, baking sugar cookies, and this year we’ve added our elf: Snowflake. (Which is a whole separate topic for another day. 😉)
Then we mark out time to do the items on our list. We set aside an evening to go look at lights, and a Saturday morning to build the gingerbread house. We make time to do the fun things every holiday season.
So ask yourself: What are the things you absolutely want to do this month? Write them down and then make time to do them. There’s plenty of other monotonous items that need to be done this time of year. Make sure you’re creating time to do the fun stuff, too!
Bring joy to someone else.
Simply put: If you want to experience joy, spread it. Create it by passing it on.
This doesn’t need to be anything over the top or a bunch of time spent. It can be something simple. It doesn’t even have to be public knowledge.
At school, Makenna’s class practices doing “secret acts of kindness” which is adorable, and it makes me wonder when we quit doing these things as adults. Sometimes we’re so busy doing life that we forget how good it feels to bring joy to someone else. A simple act of kindness can have a ripple effect we may never see, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
So, if you’re looking to experience more joy this season, try adding a “secret act of kindness” to your bucket list of things to do. Let’s spread the joy, my friend!
Wrapping Up.
Listen, this holiday season probably isn’t going to be the bet one we’ve ever had. I’m just being honest. I’m not even sure how much family we’re personally going to get to see and I know that this can be a lonely time of year for some.
But we still get a choice. We still get to decide how we want to feel about this holiday season. And take it from someone who’s spent WAY TOO MANY Christmas’s feeling stressed, that choosing to experience joy is a much better way to spend your time. It’s there is we look for it. ❤️ Merry Christmas, my friend!
***OVER TO YOU: What point resonated with you the most? Which one will you try this holiday season? Comment below!
