35 Things I know to be True
IT’S BIRTHDAY WEEK! 🥳🥳🥳
As I begin writing this post, I’m on the cusp of turning 35, which feels equally exciting and also absolutely INSANE. How? When? Why? 🤯
While this age means my health insurance premium goes up because I’ve entered a new age bracket (Hooray…) it also means I get to keep on living and celebrating this beautiful, crazy, messy, unpredictable, and FUN life.
And, since I’m another year older and wiser (AHEM, no jokes please!), now seems like a great time to list out 35 things I’ve learned in my time here on earth.
What can I say, birthday’s get me all reflective and stuff.
Here’s what I’ve learned and what I know to be true:
1. “Forgive your former self; Enjoy your present self; Be kind to your future self.” – Jon Acuff.
Read this one again. Give yourself grace for past mistakes, enjoy who you are today, and do something nice for your future self (which, for me, sometimes just looks like prepping the coffee the night before so all I have to do in the morning is push a button. #itsthelittlethings)
2. People don’t think about you as much as you think they do.
How many conversations have you walked away from, analyzing what you said? Oof. The amount of time I’ve wasted over the years mulling over old conversations, worrying if I sounded dumb or made an idiot of myself. And you know what? The other person probably didn’t give it another thought. Let’s not give other people too much power, ok?
3. God is still good, even when life isn’t going well.
Yes and Amen!
4. Life is too short to skip dessert.
I know I’m not the first one to think of this quote, but I still find it true. Wedding cake is delicious. Indulge as necessary.
5. Living for fulfillment and purpose trumps living for happiness.
In my (relatively short) time here on earth, I know that focusing solely on happiness is a futile and short-lived endeavor. The search for happiness feels a little bit like searching for the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Using our gifts, helping others, doing work that feels like a worthwhile contribution to the world… these are the things that matter. These are the things that give us life.
6. You will do things you regret.
You can either dwell on it or give yourself grace and move on. Who said we have to be perfect, anyway? This also brings me to a small piece of truth…
7. Hangovers steal tomorrow’s happiness.
Knowing this fact and actually living it out are two different things. And, funny story (though it wasn’t so fun at the time), I just suffered from a hangover 5 days ago. Do we ever grow up? I don’t know. The point is, I’m speaking from experience when I say that this little mantra is painfully true.
8. You are loved, you are enough, You are worthy.
Despite our mistakes, despite our shortcomings, and despite our poor decision making at times. Jesus is still there. (Also, I was reminding myself of this when I woke up with that hangover a few days ago…)
9. Deep breaths are underrated.
I can’t tell you how many times deep breaths have saved me when I’m thiiiiiiis close to LOSING IT.
10. Not every part of motherhood is lovely and photo worthy.
Some days I feel like I’m failing at motherhood. I’m guessing I’m not the only mama who’s ever felt this way. What I’m learning is that a bad day does not equal failure, it equals a bad day. We can always go to bed and try again tomorrow. Sometimes we just need a little reminder every now and then, so if you’re needing one, here it is: You’re doing a great job, mama!
11. You’re going to lose your ever-loving mind on your kids at some point.
It’s just. going. to happen. I look back and laugh as I used to think I would be a mom who never yelled. Guess what? I’VE YELLED. My kids can attest to this! Don’t beat yourself up. Apologize for losing your cool and move on. (Side note: I’m still a work in progress on this one, but I’m slowly getting better at accepting this truth and giving myself grace.)
12. Build quiet into your life.
Most times, for me, this just look like driving in the car alone for 5 minutes without the radio on. There’s constant noise in this employee/mama/wife life so finding pockets of quiet are necessary to survival.
13. You will be judged at some point.
No matter how hard you try to please everyone. Might as well do what’s best for you and what’s right over keeping people happy.
14. Don’t wait until your kids are grown to make your marriage a priority.
The hubs and I have hit some rocky roads in the past (something I can dive into later). It made us realize that we can’t take each other for granted, and we have to carve out time for just US. The two of us. Even if it means watching a TV show together after the kids have gone to bed.
15. Take good care of yourself – Mind, body, and soul.
Eat something healthy, drink lots of water, take a hot shower, and get up before the kids. The term “self-care” can get a little overrated at times. So just keep it simple. What does taking good care of yourself look like for you? Now take those ideas and see how you can implement them into everyday life! Taking care of YOU is important. To tag onto this point…
16. Rest is necessary and a proper form of self-care.
Take. The. Nap. Read a book. Go for a walk. Without rest, I can feel anxiety creep it’s way in. It’s also hard to create if we don’t give ourselves room to breathe. If you’re looking for a sign to binge-watch Netflix tonight, here it is.
17. Few things are as magical as a warm day with the car window down and the music cranked.
Even if you look dumb shouting My Own Worst Enemy by Lit at the top of your lungs. I promise it’s worth it. (And if I ever see you in real life doing this, I’ll just nod and wave, cause I get it.)
18. Take the vacation!
In 2014, Cory and I were on the fence about taking a trip with friends to Mexico. We’d never been, but it was a lot of money for us at the time. A few days into our struggle to make a decision, we caught wind that a loving wife and mama to 3 kids from our community had passed away unexpectedly. Cory and I decided that same night to book the trip. Life is just too short. Take the trip.
19. Given the chance, order an ice cream cone.
If you’re curious why, see point #4.☺️
20. People trump to do lists.
I’m a fan of connection. No one should have to go it alone. Life is better when we have people to do life with, so let’s not forget to pour into our friendships and our people.
21. “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” – Mother Teresa.
One of my all-time favorite quotes. When the world gets messy and out of control, I remember my first calling.
22. Freedom lies in leaning into who you are and who you were created to be.
Take it from me, living your life to fit in and follow along with the crowd will always leave you with feelings of not “enoughness.” Using your skills and leaning in to exactly how God created you, even if it looks different than your friend, sister, or neighbor, will always be the answer to freedom.
23. You actually can change your life.
I think this was a lesson that took me a while to learn. Once I realized that it was only up to me to live my life in alignment with what God had planned for me, everything started to change. We have the power to make some changes in our lives. To unbelieve the lies we’ve been told. To change the thoughts that pop into our own heads (which aren’t always true).
24. Baby steps are still steps.
Forward motion is really all that matters. There really is no “perfect” route to get something done. Just keep forging ahead and don’t give up!
25. Discomfort leads to growth.
I like my comfort zone. Like, a lot. But also, I won’t grow as a person, as a professional, and as a mama if I don’t take a step out of it every now and then.
26. Don’t get so caught up in how someone else did something that you forget to forge your own trail.
In my last post, I mention how I’ve researched entrepreneurism and noticed that each story is different. This reminds me that I don’t have to do things just because it’s the way it’s always been done. There is room to try something different, to take a chance and blaze a new trail.
27. You don’t have to have it all together, all the time.
I think, as moms, this is an area we all struggle with. With social media and constant news and photos everywhere we look, it’s easy to get wrapped up in believing the lie that everyone else is perfect, so we have to be, too. I don’t know about you, but I’ll be the first to raise my hand and admit that I am not perfect, nor do I have it all together! So I’m learning to let down my guard, accept imperfection as a way of life, and give myself heaping loads of grace. (It’s a work in progress.)
28. You can do hard things!
I totally stole this saying from my bestie, Amanda. She mentioned that she tells her kids this from time and time and I LOVED it. When a difficult situation arises, I mutter under my breath, I can do hard things. (And P.S. So can you, friend!)
29. Do something fun with your kids.
As an adult, I can sometimes get caught up in all the “adulting,” you know what I mean? There’s cooking, cleaning, laundry, bills to pay, and a never ending list of to do’s. Sometimes I forget to have a little fun with the kids every now and again. Things like jumping on the trampoline, swinging at the park, and playing with sidewalk chalk all spark that child-like wonder that can get lost in the mounting pile of things that have to get done. Play is underrated.
30. You will always be your own worst critic.
Or maybe I’m just talking to myself here. Maybe no one else struggles with this. But if you’re like me and tend to have unreasonably high expectations of yourself, don’t forget that little grace thing. Be gentle with yourself.
31. Just BE.
Be in the moment with family and close friends. Laugh. Enjoy the company. Put your phone aside and really pay attention to your surroundings. The older I get, the more I want to work on this one.
32. If you’re looking to untangle some thoughts, take a quiet walk alone in nature.
I’ve found that surrounding myself in nature has the power to immediately reduce stress. When I’m feeling anxious, or frustrated, or upset, a walk on an unpaved path surrounded by trees makes me realize how good I’ve got it. And how much I’m loved. And also how small my problems are compared to some of the stuff going on in the world.
33. You’re never too old to journal.
Take it from me, I’m 35. I believe in the power of words. And I believe in the goodness that comes from getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper, even if your “paper” is a blank Google doc.
34. Discovering who you are and what you can do in this life with your gifts is a lengthy journey, but a worthy one.
Do the work of finding and being truly YOU. And at 35, I can tell you that I haven’t completed this journey yet. Maybe we never do. I’ll let you know where I’m at in another 35 years.😉 The point is, don’t be afraid to take the time to discover more about yourself.
35. Your life is not a group decision.
I found this post from Shauna Niequist recently and I think of it often. If you want to create a life you live and believe in, you have to do the work of setting boundaries and trusting yourself + God. You don’t have to take on the opinions of everyone and you don’t have to fit in with society’s milestones.
WRAPPING UP.
Reading through this list makes me realize how much you and I have going for us, don’t we? This life is far from perfect, but dang it if it isn’t pretty amazing sometimes. I hope this list got you thinking and brought some joy to your life. After all, it’s birthday week! 🎉🎉
***OVER TO YOU: Which one of these 35 truths resonated with you the most? What would you add to the list? Let me know in the comments below!
